“So here’s the thing.” She sighs. “One of my boys is in trouble. He sort of… vanished.”
I blink. I so wasn’t expecting this. “Vanished? Like… poof, gone?”
She snorts. “Gone, yes. I can’t…” Her hand flies to her mouth and her eyes well up. “God, if he’s lying dead somewhere… I can’t stand the thought, I have to know… We’re trying to find him. I am trying to find him.”
“But what does it have to do with drugs?”
Her shoulders shake.
“Syd.” I scoot on the bed, my heart pounding, until I’m sitting right beside her. “What are you saying? Why are you thinking the worst?”
Like I do with Jarett, but Jarett is in a gang. This is different. I hope it is.
“He got caught up in something bad, and we don’t know exactly what. He smokes weed. For medicinal purposes. I thought maybe I could find one of his dealers, maybe someone would know where he’s gone to.”
Jesus. “And your other boys? How could they let you do this?”
“They don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Syd, they’re your boyfriends—”
“They’re not my boyfriends, okay? None of them is. We’re friends. And I don’t need anyone doing things for me. I can look after myself.”
She gets up, and I push myself to my feet in my socks and long sweater. “Wait,” I whisper.
“Come with me tonight.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not going out with you. Jesus.”
“Please. You know, I…” A breath. “I don’t need anyone’s help, but I want you at my back, Gigi. I feel better when you’re there.”
“This isn’t a good plan, girl.” I let my hands fall on my knees. “And you know it. Going about talking to drug dealers. What do the police say?”
“That he’s probably left voluntarily. But I can’t believe that. No way. Because he smoked weed, that doesn’t mean he’s gone underground, shooting himself up with harder stuff, I just can’t… I can’t believe it. I won’t.”
God. “Syd, I’m sorry, but I still don’t think that’s a good idea. And I can’t ask Jarett to help anymore.”
“I don’t want you to ask Jarett! Can’t you see? I need to find Kash. He has nobody else in the world, and if I give up, who will find him?”
“Stop.”
My fingers curl on my knees. Jesus, she’s touching me right where it hurts.
Because if I give up on Jarett… who will help him? If there is any chance, a single possibility of pulling him away from the gang, from that life, and saving him, who will help him if not me?
But this is crazy, right? Thinking of saving Jarett from a life that is his choice—and who knows what this Kash has chosen to do, too?
“What do you say, Gigi?”
“I can’t, Syd. I can’t go and watch you getting beaten up or raped or God knows what. Hire a private detective to find Kash, talk to your other friends, but stop before you get yourself hurt or killed.”
She pulls her hair away from her face, her jaw set. “I won’t stop. You know that. I need to find him, find out what happened to him. With your help or without.”
“That’s extortion,” I tell her. “I think.”
She cracks a faint smile. “Is it working?”
God, I am so going to regret this. “I will go with you. But I swear, if you leave me and go off getting yourself into danger again, I won’t talk to you again. Ever. I’m serious. Is that clear?”