I lower my hand hurriedly. “And if I am?”
“Is that…?” She falls silent when our food arrives, then leans forward again. “Is that Jesse’s?” She gives a small, sad smile. “I do that with Micah’s stuff. I’d roll in his scent all night and day if I could.”
My lips tremble, and I press them together. “And if it is Jesse’s? Will you tell me again how stupid I was to fall for him? I know, okay?”
“Oh, girlfriend.” Ev’s eyes look wet, and I don’t know why. “I’m sorry. What if I was wrong for telling you not to trust him?”
“Wrong? You saw what he did.”
“I saw what everyone saw. But what if he’s telling the truth? What if she came on to him and he was only trying to push her away?”
Innocent until proven guilty?
“Now you’re on his side?”
“He’s been telling everyone he didn’t kiss her. Dammit, I love Cassie. She’s my friend, but this time…” A tear rolls down Ev’s cheek. “She’s lusted after Jesse for a long time. She thinks they are alike. That for them both sex is meaningless. She may have pushed her luck with him at the reception.”
A breath is locked in my lungs. Could it be?
“The guys say he hasn’t gone out once since the wedding,” Ev goes on, “that he hasn’t been seen with a single chick. That he looks devastated. That he isn’t acting like himself.”
The thought of Jesse devastated makes my stomach twist.
What if he is telling the truth?
The guy who gave me his one prized possession, who told me he wanted to be with me. What if I’m the one who’s in the wrong?
But what if I’m not? After putting my heart through the ringer once for him, how can I risk it again? I’m still bleeding inside.
I think for the thousandth time about the lion pendant. I really am going to go over to his apartment and give it to him. See him. Let him explain what happened once more.
But how can I be objective about this when I’m face to face with him? My brain stops when I’m near him, when I see his eyes, hear his voice—which is why I’ve been avoiding him. Even hearing the voice messages he’d been leaving me threatens my resolve, so I’ve begun deleting them without hearing them.
But he hasn’t gone out. Hasn’t been with another girl.
My head spinning, I poke at my burger and onion rings, then end up drinking my soda and ignoring the rest. Ev, on the contrary, has been scarfing down everything so fast I’m afraid she’ll choke.
“Hey, slow down. Doesn’t Micah give you enough to eat?” I steal one of her onion rings—because hers look so much better than mine, of course—and deftly snatch my hand back before she slaps at it. “Must be the workout he puts you through every night, I guess.”
She scowls at me.
“Seriously…” I swallow hard. “May I ask you for a favor?”
She chews on a bite of her burger, her golden eyes narrowing. “You want Micah’s diet plan?”
“Not likely. After seeing how hungry he lets you go…” I put down my soda. “No, I’d like you to check a name through the system.”
“The system?”
“Yeah, the social system. Can you do that?”
“What do you think I am, FBI?” But she’s laughing. “I could try, I guess. Ask Audrey’s mother if she could do some digging for me. What name would that be?”
“Helen.” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “Helen McRoy.”
What am I doing?
“Helen McRoy. Anything else you can tell me about her?”