Undone (Wild Men 2)

Dammit, I should have taken her out. Maybe tomorrow, when I can stand upright properly.

“What’s on your mind?” I ask.

“Nothing.”

“Fess up.”

“Okay.” A smile flickers over her face. “Trust.” She puts the fork down. “What shattered your trust in people? All those keys…” She gestures at the ink streaming down my arm. “I know what broke mine: my parents, first, my ex-boyfriend after that. What about you?”

“Your parents got divorced,” I mutter, sorting through memories of things she’s told me. “And found other partners.”

“Oh yes. And passed me around like a hot potato. Neither wanted to keep me.”

I frown. “Bastards. What’s wrong with people?”

“I was the problem. I slowed them down, took up too much of their time.”

“They are your goddamn parents!” My fists curl on the table. I’d punch them if they were here.

Her brows go up, and okay, I might have said that last bit out loud. Her cheeks color and she laughs softly. “Thanks. Nobody’s offered to do that for me before.”

“You don’t slow me down,” I tell her. “I want you to take up my time. Hailey—”

“And what’s your story? Why the distrust? Was it all because of Eva?” She’s twisting a paper napkin between her delicate fingers, her mouth tight. It’s obvious she’s changing the subject, and I let her, although I’m not happy about it.

I want to make her understand I’m not like her parents. I won’t get tired of her. I’ll cherish our time together from now on. That I trust her. That I’m fucking sorry I didn’t work harder to show her that in the time when we were together.

How do you talk about something you’re not supposed to remember?

I guess I’ll start by answering her question. Giving up my secrets. “I lost my trust in people when I was thirteen.”

She arches her slender brows, and a shadow of concern passes behind her eyes. “Kade—”

“Eva,” that’d be the girl who accused me of deviant sexual practices and cost me a good deal of lost sleep, “she just hammered the deal home.”

The damage was done earlier, and damn I wish I could have a stiff drink right about now. I’ve never told this to anyone, not even Matt.

“What happened when you were thirteen? You’re worrying me.” She bites into her lush lower lip, and I force my gaze away.

“Sorry. No-one molested me, if that’s what you’re thinking. But I did sleep with older girls quite early. I was tall for my age, and walked around with a permanent hard-on, or so it seemed, and they…liked me. And I liked them, too. I like girls.”

I grin at her, and she shakes her head. “So you were having sex when you were thirteen?”

“Yeah. My parents worked hard. They were never home. Matt was a good brother but he didn’t keep an eye on me at all times. I bet he was screwing around with girls, too. Anyway, the thing is…” I swallow again, reach for my water and take a big gulp. “I slept with this girl. She was a few years older than me, popular in her class. A cheerleader. Pretty. Nowhere as pretty as you, though.” I flick Hailey a quick glance to see how she’s taking this, but she still looks worried.

Dammit.

“And?” she mutters. “What did she do to you?”

A warm feeling spreads in my chest. She didn’t automatically assume I was in the wrong. Usually people assume that of me without asking questions.

Apparently, I look like the type likely to cause trouble. A troublemaker.

“She wanted to keep seeing me. I was more interested in video games and football. Hell, I was still a kid. But she was apparently hurt by my attitude and I dunno, felt she needed revenge. So she told everyone at school that I can’t get it up. That my dick is tiny. That I wear frilly underwear. That I wanted her to spank me. It was fucking awful.”

My chest is tight. There’s a reason I don’t like to talk about this. It may seem silly now, but back then it broke my confidence into tiny pieces. Broke my trust.

She cracks a tiny smile. “When you are the one who likes to do the spanking.”