‘Yes, and you’ve had three nights to sleep it off. And you won, doesn’t that make you happy?’
She’d won nothing. The whole hospital seemed to be celebrating, and it seemed like something that had to be endured.
‘It doesn’t make you happy, does it?’ Sophie clearly wasn’t going to give up.
‘No.’ Hannah sighed. Sophie was going to find out sooner or later. ‘Matt’s leaving. He’s got a job in London.’
‘What?’ Sophie stared at her.
‘Yeah. That was my reaction. We had a...thing. And then when we got back, he told me that he was leaving.’
‘Just like that?’
‘Pretty much.’
‘He had sex with you. Then he told you he was leaving.’ Sophie’s lip curled. ‘Just give me ten minutes with him, Hannah. I’m going to hurt that guy.’
‘No. You’re not going to hurt him.’ Matt had been hurt enough, and the urge to defend him was stronger than any of the pain that Hannah was feeling. ‘He has his reasons. He’s never stayed in one place for very long, he just can’t do it, and I knew that.’
‘What reasons?’
‘Good ones.’ Hannah turned the corners of her mouth down. She wanted to tell Sophie, but that would be a betrayal. She raised the sandwich to her lips and her stomach began to lurch. She’d been going through the motions of eating and sleeping for the last three days, and doing little of either.
‘Does he think that you’ll follow him?’
‘He knows all about John. If I go with him, then I’d feel that I was putting Sam and my mum second, and he knows I can’t do that again.’
Sophie considered the idea for a moment. ‘Your mum just wants the best for you, you know that. And if you wanted to move to London, then...lots of people move and their kids don’t fall to pieces over it. Sam would probably really like it there, and it’s only thirty miles. It’s practically a commute, lots of people live around here and work in London.’
‘That’s not the point, Soph. I’d hate myself, and no relationship can survive that.’
‘You’ve thought about it, though, haven’t you?’
‘I’ve thought about nothing else. And I can’t do it.’
Sophie puffed out a breath. ‘Maybe we should go for a long run. Sweat him out of your system. Or we could go out and get very drunk.’
Hannah laughed. ‘Or stay in and get very drunk.’
‘That’d work.’ Sophie turned to face her. ‘You love him, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I love him. Are you going to say I told you so?’
‘No, that’s a fat lot of use. I’m just here to cheer you on, Hannah. Whatever you decide to do.’
‘Thanks, Sophie. That means a lot.’ Hannah leaned over, hugging her friend, and Sophie squeezed her so tight that she could hardly breathe.
She had everything, right here. Sam, her mother. Good friends like Sophie. She could work on forgetting Matt and everything would be the way it was before.
It sounded easy. Just as long as she left out the part about Matt having changed her for ever.
Did any of the old rules still apply? Hadn’t Matt shown her that life wasn’t all about what she couldn’t do? It was about what she could do.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘MAYBE I DON’T love you after all.’
As soon as the words had left his lips, Matt had known that they were a stupid, cruel lie. He’d walked away because he’d been convinced that a clean break would somehow be easier. That if Hannah hated him, then perhaps she wouldn’t be hurting as badly as he was.