‘Yeah. Maybe.’ He could kiss her now. They were so close, and if he brushed a kiss against her jaw it would look as if he’d simply bent to say something to her as they danced. But Alistair didn’t want to. She felt so soft in his arms, and one kiss would never be enough.
Maybe Raina would kiss him. Later on, when it wouldn’t matter if he returned the kiss, and made more of it than just a sweet and momentary sensation. For now, the dance was enough.
* * *
The party was beginning to break up, and someone had switched off the music. A few stalwarts were sitting at the bar, and Raina imagined they might well be there until the early hours of the morning.
The long, slow dance with Alistair had left her senses reeling. She’d clung to him, unable to let him go, and he’d tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, and they’d walked together out to the far reaches of the garden space, where darkness shrouded them from sight. Tonight had been so perfect, and Raina didn’t want it to end.
‘Ah!’ He let out a long sigh of satisfaction. ‘Silence.’
‘Silence? Really, Alistair?’
‘Yes. At first there were just a few moments, here and there. They got longer, and I still couldn’t quite believe it. But my tinnitus has stopped completely now. I haven’t heard it for the last two days.’
‘That’s wonderful. Have you spoken to your audiologist about it?’
He shook his head. ‘No, not yet. I don’t know whether it’ll last, or for how long, so I’m just enjoying it at the moment.’
‘I should think that’s the only advice your audiologist will give you. No one really understands tinnitus, but this seems like a good sign.’
‘Yeah, I think so. And if it does start again, at least I’ll know that I enjoyed the silence while it lasted. That was the one thing I couldn’t get to grips with, that I’d never appreciated silence before.’
‘What else can you hear? Apart from the silence.’
‘I can hear...the breeze. Bet you can’t hear that.’ He smiled at her.
‘No, actually I can’t. You’re hearing it rustle against the back of your hearing aid?’
Alistair nodded. ‘I can’t hear much else. But that’s okay, because I can hear you.’
So he couldn’t hear the music, drifting out into the night. Or the quiet sounds of the water. But Alistair didn’t seem to feel any loss and right now Raina could understand that. The only thing that mattered right now was the two of them.
She stood on her toes, kissing his cheek. It was full of risk, but that only made her want to do it all the more. He turned, taking her into his arms. They were so warm, and it felt as if she’d spent a very long time out in the cold.
Alistair murmured her name, just once. And then he kissed her.
* * *
Raina had just kissed him as if she really meant it. She did really mean it, Alistair knew that. It felt as if nothing stood between them now. Not the pain, or the loneliness. Not even the anger over everything that had happened between them.
But if this went on, he wouldn’t be able to let her go. He should give her the chance to smile at him, and wish him goodnight, even if it was the last thing he wanted her to do.
‘You should go.’ His hands felt suddenly cold as he took them from her waist, as if it was only Raina’s body heat that had kept him from freezing.
‘Do you want me to?’ Raina gazed up at him.
‘Of course not. That’s why you should.’ He couldn’t take much more of this. Any moment now he’d be on his knees, begging her come back to his room with him and stay the night.
‘It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before...’ She used his own argument against him, leaving the conclusion to burst into his thoughts. There’s nothing to say that we can’t do it again, if we want to.
‘A lot’s happened since then.’
Raina nodded. ‘I thought I hated you, but I never did. I couldn’t.’
‘I thought I hated you too. Turns out that I didn’t.’ He’d always loved Raina. Always wanted the best for her, even if that meant she should be with someone else.
‘We’re just too different. That’s not going to change, but we could still allow ourselves this. Couldn’t we?’