No, probably not. He stared at her dumbfounded. Then, as he looked away, he was aware that she’d said something. He felt her finger on his jaw, tipping his head back towards her.
‘Did you hear that?’
&nb
sp; Alistair shook his head.
‘I said that we’d made our decision about divorcing. The best thing for both of us was to get it done, and go on with our lives.’
‘But...you could have told me, Raina.’ He looked away from her, not wanting to hear her answer. He knew full well why she hadn’t told him. He’d struggled to support her through the loss of their baby, knowing he was making a poor job of it, and there was no reason why this should have been any different.
She’d ripped away the security blanket that he’d wrapped around himself. Raina going on with her life. Meeting someone, and then becoming a wife and a mother. Being fulfilled in her career, and happy until the day she died. It was a rose-tinted view of life, but it was the one that worked for him.
The truth had been so different. Her dreams had been shattered and then she’d weathered unimaginable tragedy. All she had was Anya now, and Alistair silently sent up a vote of thanks to the little girl, for every time she’d made Raina smile.
‘May I hold you?’ It was the only thing he could think of to do.
‘Yes. I’d really like that.’ She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down onto the bed. Face to face this time. Her head on the pillow next to his. They were both tangled up in the duvet and he couldn’t slide his hand around her waist and embrace her the way he would have liked, but this was...enough. Better, maybe.
‘I’m so sorry, Raina.’
‘You have nothing to be sorry for. We both had our own ways of surviving, and they were different. We both needed to be apart.’
‘So where does that leave us now?’ Alistair hoped that Raina had some clue about that, because he had none.
She was thinking hard. ‘I guess...lots of people divorce and stay on good terms.’
‘Exes with benefits, you mean?’
‘No! That sounds too cynical. You’re a lot more to me than just a romp between the sheets whenever I feel like it.’ She dug her fingers into his ribs.
‘You’re a lot more than that to me, too.’ Alistair picked up her hand, kissing her fingertips. ‘Friends?’
‘Yes. Friends is good.’
‘Along with the proviso that if you do feel like a romp between the sheets, you can always pick up the phone. I’m at your beck and call.’
Raina smirked. ‘Apart from when you’re working, that is.’ There was a note of irony in her tone.
‘I guess so. Some things don’t change all that much.’
Raina smiled at him. ‘I don’t suppose you’re free now, are you?’
‘Nothing in the diary.’
‘There’s nothing in mine either.’ She snuggled close, kissing him. ‘Which means that you’re at my beck and call, then?’
‘I’d love to be at your beck and call.’
They made love again. Tenderly at first, and then with the increasing fervour that Alistair did so well. Somehow, it felt as if the unfinished business of the past was being swept away. If they couldn’t live together, then maybe this was their way of learning how to live better apart.
* * *
‘You’re hungry?’ He found an empty table in the crowded restaurant, and they both sat down. No thought of taking this last chance of talking to the other delegates before everyone left for home, they only had eyes for each other.
‘I could work my way through the whole menu.’ Raina smiled at him. Alistair knew exactly what that meant. They’d always joked that great sex deserved a hearty breakfast.
‘I could too.’