‘No! Poor Rachel!’ Her hand flew to her mouth and then he saw realisation in her eyes. ‘That wasn’t what you all found so funny at our wedding, was it? When Rachel handed you an empty envelope, and the three of you cracked up. You said it was nothing...’
Alistair chuckled. That had been a good day. ‘You had enough on your hands with your dress, remember?’
‘Yes, I remember. It was just as well that your mother happened to have a safety pin on her.’
‘Mum always just happens to have a safety pin on her. Along with anything else that might come in handy.’ The warmth of that day was almost palpable now. The remembered happiness, which hadn’t yet been soured by the pain.
‘I’m beginning to get into the way of that myself, with Anya. There are never too many useful things you can have in your handbag. How your mum ever managed with five of you... You never said, Alistair. About your father.’
‘It always seemed a bit like tempting fate to me. My mother always used to tell me that I was like him.’
‘Maybe to give you some feeling of connection with him.’ Raina pursed her lips.
‘Yeah, maybe. Maybe because I am like him. You know, when he died, I couldn’t think of anything concrete that I might miss about him.’ Life had carried on in their household in much the same way. When Rob had gone to university the following year, he’d felt more in the way of loss.
‘Just the things you didn’t have.’
‘Yeah, I suppose so.’ Alistair shook his head. Their talk hadn’t been so bad—at least not so far. They hadn’t argued, and they’d laid a few more of the ghosts of the past to rest. They should probably stop now. Get out while the going was good.
‘More coffee? Or are you ready for the questions?’
Raina nodded. ‘More coffee. While you make it, I’ll go and get my laptop, I’ve got some more detailed graphics that explain the various points I made in my talk...’
Suddenly she reached out, gripping his hand. ‘You’re not your father, Alistair. You should know that. One day you’ll make a great dad.’
But not with her. And that took all the allure away from the prospect. He and Raina might be friends, they might even be casual lovers, but they’d ruled out the idea of ever making a life together again.
He shook his head and she quirked her lips down. Nothing more was needed. They both knew that he couldn’t change who he was.
Better make the best of it, then. Alistair smiled, rising from his seat, and started to clear the table.
* * *
They’d said the things that should have been said six years ago. Every time they talked, the hurt seemed to lift a little more from Raina’s heart, and it became so much easier to love Alistair again.
Raina sat down at the table and opened her laptop with trembling fingers. She knew how she wanted the evening to end now. When Alistair sat next to her, leaning across to see what she was doing, she felt the warmth of his body tingling through hers.
‘So...um...do you have some questions?’
‘Yes. There are only a couple...’ He leaned towards her, closing the lid of her laptop. Raina could hardly think straight. His scent was driving her crazy.
‘What...?’
‘Are you finding it as difficult to concentrate on this as I am?’
‘Yes.’ She leaned forward and kissed him. Just a brush against his cheek, which did nothing to slake the desire that was throbbing through her veins.
‘Next question, then. How’s your diary?’ Alistair’s fingers curved around hers, and he pressed them to his lips.
‘Free. Completely.’
‘Mine too.’
They wanted the same thing. But Alistair’s slow caress, the way he let each moment hang in the air, full of passion and expectation, was too good to miss. He kissed her, allowing nothing but their lips to touch, and the sensation was electrifying.
‘I still want you, Raina. I can’t help it.’
‘That’s all right. I can’t help it either.’ She slid closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and when he kissed her again everything dissolved. Tomorrow could look after itself, all that mattered was that she had him in her arms now.