He didn’t want her to go. But that was the whole point of this. Somewhere, deep inside, her anger was making him want to reach out and hug her. More than just hug her.
‘You’re not understanding what I’m doing...’
‘No, actually, I don’t. Try explaining it to me. Words of one syllable, please.’
Ross took a breath. He’d worked all of this out in his head, and he was sure that he was doing the right thing. Only he’d hoped that Laurie might look at the letter and realise that this was the right thing to do, too, without the need for explanations.
‘All right. Simmer down.’
‘No, I will not simmer down, Ross. This is...too much.’ She crumpled the paper in her hand, dropping it at her feet. The wind caught it, and it bounced across the grass, lodging against some stones at the water’s edge.
‘That’s just a copy. I’ve already sent the original to your consultant.’
‘Without telling me? Where do you get off manipulating me, Ross?’
That was exactly his point. It had to stop now.
‘Look, Laurie. Three weeks ago I made you an offer it was impossible to refuse. I told you that the clinic wouldn’t treat you any more, knowing full well that this place was your last chance.’
‘That’s right.’ She shot him a fierce look.
‘I didn’t know then that you’d spent your whole childhood being forced into a mould, or that you’d lost your brother. But that’s no excuse, I shouldn’t have done it.’
Laurie crossed her arms, staring out over the lake and refusing to meet his gaze. ‘We’ve been through that, Ross. I’ve admitted that I was being unreasonable, and you stopped me from cutting off my nose to spite my face.’
‘It doesn’t mean that what I did was right.’
There was a sudden flash of warmth in her eyes. Angry warmth. ‘So...what? You’re feeling guilty because I got better? Perhaps you should think about taking up another career because doctor doesn’t seem to suit you.’
She was deliberately missing the point and the words he’d wanted to say came out in a rush before he could stop them. ‘I care for you, Laurie. More than I should... I want you to stay, which is what makes it so very wrong of me to compel you to do so.’
‘So why on earth didn’t you just say so?’ The fire was back again. And Laurie’s fire could so easily turn to passion.
‘Because... If I could offer you more then I’d do it, right here and now. But that’s not right for either of us, and you know it. This letter means you’re free to go.’
Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again. Laurie knew just as well as he did that a relationship couldn’t work between them. There was really nothing more to say.
Standing up and turning his back on her was difficult. And the words she called after him hit him like a knife between his shoulder blades.
‘Ross! Don’t you walk away...’
He had no choice. This was the right thing to do but he was in imminent danger of taking it all back, just to see Laurie’s smile again. When Ross reached the fire escape steps that led up to his apartment, he had the opportunity to turn and glance behind him.
Laurie had walked down to the shore of the lake and was bending to pick up the crumpled letter. That was something, at least. Maybe if she read it again, she’d understand.
* * *
A sleepless night brought no answers apart from the ones she didn’t want to acknowledge. Three weeks ago, Laurie would have taken the letter and gone, without looking back. Ross couldn’t have timed things any worse by giving it to her now, when all she wanted to do was stay.
The morning brought no knock on her door, and she didn’t have the heart to knock on his. If this was what Ross really wanted, then she should leave. Laurie left a message for Sam, asking if she was free for lunch, and set to work. She didn’t want to think about having to say goodbye to the friends she’d made here, or to Tamara and Adam, but she was going to have to.
Sam tapped on the French doors at lunchtime, looking a little worried. She proffered a couple of herbal teabags, which was a sure sign that she thought something was up.
‘Mmm. That looks nice.’ She perched herself on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and snagged a slice of tomato from the large mixed salad that Laurie took out of the fridge. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I’m going to leave. Tomorrow, probably.’
‘Leave?’ Sam’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘But I thought you were staying for another three weeks.’