‘When Sam does something new, I miss not telling her about it.’ Or just having someone to tell. Ethan wasn’t sure which. But, since he’d promised himself he’d never let another woman down the way he had Jenna, he probably would never know.
‘Jenna died very suddenly, and I’m not sure that she heard me when I told her I’d look after Sam...’
‘I don’t imagine she would have been in any doubt about that. It’s obvious that Sam’s your first priority.’
Ethan nodded. Here, now, it didn’t seem so difficult to allow Kate in, even if it was just for a short time. If falling in love a second time would require a completely different skill set from any that he’d needed before, then perhaps Kate could teach him.
Ethan rejected the thought. They could be friends, without the complicating factor of his wanting to protect her all the time. Knowing that wasn’t enough and that he should give all his energies to Sam.
‘Time heals a lot of things.’ He resorted to the familiar cliché and saw Kate nod.
It was getting darker, but Kate showed no signs of wanting to leave. Ethan didn’t want her to go. He wanted these moments of quiet peace to last.
‘Sam’s been talking about a new puppy.’ It seemed suddenly quite natural that Ethan should share it with Kate.
‘Yes? What do you think?’
‘I think...it’s a really good idea. And it’ll be good for Sam.’
‘A little bit soon for you, though?’ Kate wasn’t afraid to voice Ethan’s one reservation.
‘Yes. But if it’s what Sam wants, then that’s fine with me. I wondered if you could recommend anyone.’ The small hope that she couldn’t still tugged at his heart.
Kate nodded, staring silently out into the darkness for a moment, her lips pursed in thought. ‘Yes, I do know a couple of people who have litters of pups which are ready for new homes. Were you thinking of any particular breed?’
‘Not another Newfoundland. Jeff was always so beautifully tempered, and he was great with kids, but he was a bit big for Sam to take for walks. Something a bit smaller would suit him better.’
‘Yes, I’m sure it would. Can I suggest an alternative to taking a puppy home right away?’
‘If you’re going to tell me to wait, then that’s not an option.’ Ethan had already made that decision. Sam’s wants and needs came first.
‘I hear you. But one of our veterinary nurses is hand-rearing a litter. They’re far too small to be rehomed just yet but Sam could choose one. You could visit every now and then, he’d see it grow, and then you could take the puppy when it’s older.’
Ethan stared at her. He hadn’t expected Kate to come up with a solution that would suit both him and Sam. ‘That’s... I think that Sam would really like that. What breed are they?’
‘There’s no pedigree certificate, but we know where they came from.’ She grinned. ‘They’re definitely beagles. You can take my word on that.’
‘Pretty good size for Sam, then.’
‘I would think so, and generally speaking beagles are good with children. They need a lot of exercise, though, and you can’t leave a beagle pup on its own all day while you’re at work.’
‘That wouldn’t be a problem. My parents live in one of the villages about twenty minutes away from here. They look after Sam during the holidays and after school, and my dad’s already said if Sam wants a puppy they’d take care of it while I’m at work. He’s almost as keen on the idea as Sam is.’
Ethan made his decision, finding that it wasn’t as difficult as he’d thought it would be.
‘Would it be okay if we came to have a look at them?’
‘Yes, of course. Give me a ring, whenever you’re ready.’ She shot him a mischievous grin. ‘If one of the puppies chooses you, then Sam can visit any time he likes.’
‘Thank you. That’s very kind.’ Ethan wanted to hug her, but that wouldn’t be quite fair. She’d hug him back, thinking he needed comfort, but that wasn’t his motive. He just wanted to feel her, soft in his arms.
‘It’s my pleasure.’
There were no words for this. Sitting here with Kate, the light from the house casting warm shadows around them. If he could just make tonight something which stood by itself, which had no yesterday to sour it and no tomorrow to make it impossible, then he would have kissed her.
‘I’m going to take Jeff now.’ Her gentle words interrupted the dream of what Ethan knew couldn’t happen. ‘You can pop in over the next couple of days and see our receptionist to make arrangements.’
/> If he’d thought about it, Ethan would have known all along that Kate would take Jeff. He just hadn’t been able to face it. Now he could. He tipped the contents of his glass into the flower bed next to the steps.