‘And you were going to take her back?’
‘Yes, I told her I would. I was saving up so we could go there together, but then I became ill and we never did get around to going.’
‘Perhaps it’s herself she’s looking for. As well as your parents.’
‘Maybe so.’ She heaved a sigh. ‘I guess...well, perhaps that’s something we can share. And perhaps I’ll find some way of convincing her.’
‘I imagine she’s thinking pretty much the same at the moment. That she’s got to find some way of convincing you.’
She quirked her lips downwards, then stood up and stretched her limbs, as if they ached from being in one position for too long. ‘Whose side are you on?’
Hers. He was on Chloe’s side, and always would be, irrespective of whether she was right or wrong. ‘I’m...not really on anyone’s side.’
‘But?’
Yes, there was a but. One that had been bothering Jon for a little while now. ‘I think that Hannah’s doing this because she’s trying to force you and James to listen...’
‘I know.’ Tears welled in Chloe’s eyes and Jon made himself look away before he gave in to the temptation to hug her and wipe them away. He’d gone too far once today, and a second time wasn’t going to help. ‘I know, I should have listened to her more...’
‘That’s not what I’m saying. You’ve got one solution to all this in your head and Hannah has another. You’re trying to persuade her and she’s trying to persuade you, and it’s not going to work. You need to go right back to the beginning, and tell her how you feel about things, get her to tell you what she’s feeling.’
Chloe was trembling, wiping the tears away. ‘I want to listen to how she’s feeling. I’m trying...’
‘Have you told her how you feel? That you feel you’ve let her down?’
‘No, of course not.’ She turned suddenly, walking to the mantelpiece and picking up her phone. As if all of her fears, all her worries were centred around it. Then she put it back down again.
‘Maybe you’re right.’ She twisted her mouth in an expression of regret and then the determined smile broke through. If he hadn’t been trying so hard not to touch her, Jon would have seriously considered kissing her. ‘So... What do I do next?’
It wasn’t just a matter of what Chloe did next. In a moment when all
he’d wanted to do was make her know that she was far stronger than she gave herself credit for, he had kissed her. And ever since that moment he’d been afraid to touch her again, knowing for sure now that her intoxicating sweetness had the power to overcome his better judgement.
What he had to do next was make a decision. Because the only way that they could regain the easy friendship, which had blossomed as they’d looked after Amy together, was to move past the kiss.
‘What do you say to getting something to eat and then going for a walk? Somewhere nice. We have the time, and we can forget about all of this for a few hours and take a deep breath.’
She nodded. ‘Yes. I’d like that.’
* * *
They’d decided against the local park and had taken a drive instead. Jon parked his car at the foot of the hill at Alexandra Palace, and they’d toiled up the steep incline. The breeze was still warm and the lights of London began to emerge through the gloom as dusk fell.
They picked out landmarks on the horizon, laughingly correcting each other when they got them wrong. It was nice. Companionable, as if they were learning to be together again, without flinching away each time they almost touched. Chloe took his arm in the darkness, giving silent thanks that she hadn’t lost him.
As they walked back down to the car, she felt that she could breathe again. Start to plan. And it seemed natural to share those plans with Jon as he drove them home.
‘I can sort out my plane tickets tomorrow. Fly down on Friday to meet Hannah on Saturday.’ The little details, the ones that she knew she could accomplish, were the ones that she should tackle first.
‘You could. Or we could drive down together. Take two or three days, find somewhere off the beaten track to stay.’
‘That’s...’ There was no reason why not. Apart from the feeling that dashing down there somehow fitted the urgency of the situation. ‘I should be...I might be needed. Somewhere.’
‘You might. In which case you won’t be around and everyone’s just going to have to cope. I’m sure they’ll manage.’ He shot her a smile, his face angular, a different kind of handsome in the moving shadows.
‘It doesn’t seem right. James and Carol are looking after Amy and—’
‘They’ll cope. They have three kids of their own, and Amy will be fine. It strikes me that, however things turn out, this is going to be a long haul. You’ve got to pace yourself, give yourself a breather from time to time.’