d and, if the truth be told, for some while before it had ended he’d been unable to work up any enthusiasm for sex. He’d been going through the motions with Helen, hoping that things would get better, and that she wasn’t feeling quite so empty inside as he was, but when they’d split up it had been almost a relief that the physical side of things was now at an end.
Since then, there had been a couple of affairs. Consenting adults, no strings, that kind of thing. Where both parties knew exactly what they were doing, and how it was going to end. But although he and Chloe had both gone into this with their eyes open, and it wasn’t such a different arrangement, it felt as if it were spinning wildly out of control.
And the thing was, he couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t help wanting her, every minute of the day. Not just her touch but her sweetness and her strength. Her unpredictability, the times she was wrong, and the times she was right. The way that they seemed so different in so many ways but that together they somehow managed to fit perfectly.
And that wasn’t the worst of it. Frequent sex—he could handle that. The kind of sex that didn’t feel that burning heat, or sweat, or ragged, incoherent cries were incongruous and should be avoided—he could most definitely handle that. But lying in her arms in the soft darkness, knowing that he’d been broken, was different. Watching one tear trickle from the corner of Chloe’s eye, knowing that it wasn’t joy or pain but a sign that she had given herself as completely as he had... That was entirely different.
It would cool. Everything cooled at some point and he and Chloe were so different that the cracks would appear soon enough. When Hannah arrived, they would have something else to think about, rather than just the road and each other.
He sat with her on a bench in the bus station, feeling the warm pressure of her body leaning against his. If this was the beginning of the end, it was partly a relief, wholly regrettable, but it was the way things were and he couldn’t fight it.
‘She said...’ Chloe watched as a bus drew up in one of the bays, the doors opening and people starting to get out. ‘There must be another bus coming at this time. That can’t be the one.’
Probably not. The people getting out of the bus were chatting and laughing amongst themselves, obviously having made friendships. They looked good company, but no one was under fifty, which wasn’t the age group that he would have expected Hannah to naturally gravitate towards.
‘Well, I never...’ Jon followed Chloe’s pointing finger and saw Hannah climb down from the bus. Her rucksack was one of the first bags out of the luggage compartment and she collected it, laughing with the couple who were standing next to her as the man teased her about something.
‘What’s Hannah doing on a silver surfers’ bus trip?’ Jon couldn’t see anything wrong with the people standing around the bus, but he reckoned that Hannah would dismiss them, labelling them as boring.
‘No idea.’ Chloe stood up, waving to Hannah, and she bade a cheery goodbye to her companions, walking over to them.
Chloe had obviously thought about this and knew exactly what she was going to do. No running at Hannah, no frantic grabbing at her, no tears. She spread her arms, smiling as Hannah gave her a hug and a kiss, and then let her go.
‘How’s Amy?’ Chloe had told him that when Hannah called, those were always the first words from her mouth.
‘I called James this morning and she’s fine. It’s good to see you. You look so well...’ Chloe kept hold of Hannah’s hand. She did look well, less pale than when she’d been with James in Cornwall. And she’d dyed her hair a lighter, more natural colour, rather than the black that she usually favoured.
‘You too.’ Hannah grinned at Chloe, and turned her attention to Jon. ‘Thanks for coming.’
This was something new too. Whenever he’d seen Hannah with James she’d always been the kid sister. But from the way she put her arm around Chloe’s shoulders, it seemed that Hannah had developed a protective streak for her sister. She’d grown up a little.
‘My pleasure. We drove down. Had a few days’ holiday.’
‘Yeah?’ Hannah raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s good.’
‘So did you enjoy the coach trip?’ Chloe ventured the question.
‘Yeah, actually. It was only two days, and I wanted to take in a bit of the history of the area, so I booked it. I thought it was going to be dreadful when I saw that lot.’ Hannah jerked her thumb over her shoulder at her fellow travellers. ‘But it was so interesting. One of the guys on the trip is a history teacher—well, he was before he retired—and he really made it all come alive. And his wife’s an absolute darling. So funny.’
‘Good.’ Chloe kept her thoughts to herself over Hannah’s abrupt volte face over whether anyone over twenty-five had anything to offer. ‘Shall we go back to the boarding house? Then maybe you can show me around a bit.’
‘You haven’t checked the village out?’
‘No, I wanted you to show me.’ Chloe had clearly decided that she was going to leave the more difficult questions for later, and for now just watch and wait. It was an approach that Jon reckoned was wholly right.
‘Oh, okay, then.’ Hannah seemed pleased at the thought. ‘Have you got the car with you, or do we need to grab a bus back to the village?’
* * *
Jon had let them talk, strolling beside them, hands in pockets as if he was just there for the scenery. But he was there. It made her feel strong enough to wait, to let Hannah dictate the pace.
They dropped Hannah’s rucksack at the boarding house and walked into the centre of the village to get some lunch. Hannah had brought a blue plastic folder with her, and from the way she put it on the table next to her, it held something important. Chloe was dreading the moment when Hannah decided to show her what was inside it.
‘When you said you were driving, I thought you might be planning to throw a blanket over my head and tie me up. Take me back home.’ One of the things that Chloe liked about Hannah was that she didn’t beat about the bush. It was sometimes brutal, but at least it was honest.
Although she wasn’t quite sure that she knew the answer to this. No, I wasn’t sounded as if she didn’t care. Yes, I was wasn’t much of a reassurance that she was here to listen and learn.
‘I talked Chloe out of it.’ Jon seemed to have woken suddenly from his reverie. ‘She might not care about losing her licence to practise after being brought up on kidnapping charges, but I do.’