‘I know. It’s all right, Hugo, I never thought that was the case. I was just being a bit over-sensitive.’
‘No, you weren’t. I know you have good reason not to mix business with pleasure, and any implication that I—’
‘Please stop, Hugo. Let’s just say we’re okay, shall we?’
He nodded, bringing out a glossy paper carrier bag from behind his briefcase. ‘I was going to bring you flowers but decided on this instead.’
What was this? The carrier bag looked as if it had come from an exclusive store somewhere, and when Hugo handed it to her, Nell saw an embellished cardboard box inside. Too big for jewellery and too heavy for underwear. But in this situation, they’d be gifts that an unsubtle man would bring, and Hugo was never that.
She took the lid off the box and smiled. Perfect. ‘Chocolate! Thank you, Hugo.’
He grinned, finally taking his jacket off and sitting down. Nell proffered the box. ‘Would you like one?’
‘You first.’
The chocolate was delicious, with a centre of dark brandy truffle. ‘Mmm...these are gorgeous. You should try one.’
‘Thanks... One can’t hurt, right?’
‘No. One can’t hurt.’ Even though he had no problem with cholesterol, Hugo’s diet was strictly balanced and healthy. Perhaps too much so. Nell had never seen him eat sweets or sugary foods, even as a treat
.
Hugo loosened his tie, leaning back on the sofa, taking a moment to appreciate the forbidden chocolate. ‘That’s good.’
They were friends again. Clearly Hugo didn’t care about receiving any apology from Nell, but she cared about giving it.
‘Hugo, I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to infer that you were being in any way insincere. This is just...a difficult situation. I don’t know quite how to act sometimes.’
‘You’re doing just fine. You should never apologise to me, because it’s my weakness that’s put you into a difficult situation.’
That assumption, again, that he was somehow flawed. Hugo seemed to take it for granted, as if it were beyond argument, and a given thing.
‘You’re weak because you have a pacemaker? Is that what you say to all your pacemaker patients, that they’ll never be the same again?’
‘No, of course not...’ He broke off, as if the incongruity had only just occurred to him.
‘Then why say it to yourself? You know it’s not true. Why keep it such a secret?’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t know, Nell. I feel...different somehow. Less than what I was.’
‘But you don’t mind relying on a watch to tell you the time. You don’t mind relying on your phone to keep you in touch.’
‘That’s not the same thing. I’m not relying on either of them to keep my heart beating, that’s a bit more important.’
‘Yes, it’s a great deal more important. But what happens if the pacemaker fails? Your heartbeat will probably slow up, but it’s not going to stop completely. Most of the time, your heart’s beating just fine on its own, the pacemaker only activates when your level of activity increases and you need a little extra help. So the worst that can happen is that you have to stop and sit down. You know all this, Hugo.’
‘Yes, I do. I...’ He looked at her suddenly. ‘You’re pushing me, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, I’m pushing you. Because what you know up here...’ Nell reached forward, tapping his forehead lightly with her finger ‘...isn’t what you actually feel inside, is it?’
He shrugged. ‘No. But I can’t change that.’
‘You could look at the reasons. Why you blatantly disregard everything your head is telling you.’
‘Is this your usual psychology chat?’ He narrowed his eyes, and Nell could see that he was only half joking.
‘No. This one’s just for you.’