Edward had never seen himself as a gambler. He weighed up the chances, took the safest route. He’d never before staked everything on one precarious throw of the dice.
Her nerve broke first. ‘All right, then. So where were you that night when you didn’t come home until two in the morning? Don’t tell me you were at the hospital, because I know you weren’t.’
‘How do you know that?’ The old guilt pushed back into his heart. Why did no one ever seem to understand that he needed to be alone sometimes?
‘Because I phoned there. You left at nine and said you were going home.’
‘I had some work to do at the clinic and I popped in there...’ Edward shook his head. This was never going to work on lies. However much he was ashamed of the truth, it was that or nothing now.
He’d had a taste of nothing, and he didn’t want to go back to it.
‘I went to the clinic and took a swim. Then I went out for something to eat and...just walked for a while. Sometimes I need to regroup.’
She stared at him. ‘What’s so bad about that? That you couldn’t just tell me?’
Suddenly the room seemed too small. Even with the windows open the pressure of their emotions was intolerable. But he couldn’t leave. Mustn’t leave. If he did that then he would only prove that he couldn’t fight for her.
He took a deep breath. He’d start from the beginning and he’d get it right this time. ‘When Kathy left me she said I was emotionally unavailable. That’s stayed with me, and I let you go because I didn’t believe that I had any right to ask you to stay. I was never sure that I could give you and Isaac the commitment that you both need.’
She opened her mouth to protest and he brushed his finger across her lips.
‘Please. I have to say this. I’m older now, and a bit wiser. I know that I can change, and it’s time for me to do just that if I’ve got any hope of you taking me back.’
She shook her head in disbelief. ‘No. Oh, no. You don’t need to change. Edward, I see right through you. You have feelings and emotions just like the rest of us. You just need to say what they are—not hide them away in case someone doesn’t understand you.’
‘I think...that’s one of the nicest things you’ve said to me.’ She’d said a lot of nice things, and he couldn’t be sure.
‘What? That you have feelings...?’
‘No, that you see right through me. If you do, then you’ll know how much I love you. How happy you make me. That I’ll never let you down.’
* * *
She stared at him. This was everything she’d ever wanted. All she had to do was take it.
‘You have to trust me, Charlotte. You told me once that I could learn. So can you.’
‘I...I’m not such a quick study as you... I’m going to be rubbish at this.’
‘Fair enough. We can both be rubbish together. Do you believe that I can give you my heart? And that it’ll be enough for you and Isaac?’
It felt as if she was making a solemn vow. ‘Yes, I do.’
‘Well, then it follows that you must trust me.’
She took hold of the end of his tie. Tugged a little. He moved closer. ‘We’re two sides of a coin, aren’t we? Very different.’
‘Yeah, but it’s the same coin.’
‘Back to back?’
That smile that Charlotte loved so much. Sexy, thoughtful, provocative.
‘I prefer face to face.’ His hands moved to her waist, and she melted into his warmth. ‘Although...’
She stopped him with a look. There was time to talk sex later. This was more important and she couldn’t wait any longer to say it. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you, too, Charlotte.’ He glanced around, as if looking for some way to prove it. ‘I love you so much that I’ll help you finish that mural for Isaac. Even though I’m wearing an Italian silk suit.