‘I’m not usually here on Fridays, but Marcie is. She’ll be here whenever you need her.’ Now that Doug and Jean were out of range, her tone was clipped and she was obviously angry about something. Matt wondered if she was angry with him.
‘About eleven? Shall I call her in the morning?’
‘No, that’s okay, I’ll speak to her. Thanks.’ She had given him a half-smile, but it was clear that she was dismissing him, as if he wasn’t wanted here any more. The tiny hairs on the back of Matt’s neck started to prickle. No. She wasn’t just going to send him away like this.
‘How long are you going to be?’
She bristled visibly. ‘I’ll pop up to the ward in half an hour to make sure that Doug’
s settled in okay.’
Matt caught her elbow, exerting a fraction more pressure for a second longer than he needed, to indicate that he didn’t want to hear any arguments. ‘With me. Now.’
It wasn’t fair. Beth knew that she had been snappy with Matt when it wasn’t really him she was angry with at all, but if anything that only made her more agitated. He put the two paper cups from the canteen down onto his desk, closing his office door and motioning to her to sit. Beth watched him doggedly as he stirred his coffee with the little wooden paddle that passed for a spoon. He was the one that wanted to talk about this, not her.
He took his time about it, but finally he broke the silence. ‘I learned something tonight that I didn’t expect.’
‘What was that?’ His conciliatory tone was antagonising her even more.
‘I felt that I was the one at a disadvantage, not you or Doug or Jean.’
Warmth crept from her fingers, stealing slowly up her arms. She often felt that hearing people who could not sign were missing out in some way, but few would agree with her. ‘Perhaps…’ She left the thought unfinished. She really didn’t want to talk about this.
‘Look, Beth, I know there were mistakes made here. Doug and Jean should never have been left alone in that booth, not knowing what was going on. No patient should. But it happens. A and E staff work under pressure and with a constant set of conflicting claims on their time. They can’t always stop to explain exactly what they’re doing, they don’t have that luxury.’
‘So you’re defending them!’ Beth was shaking with an emotion that she couldn’t quite define. She didn’t want to hear Matt, of all people, telling her that it was okay to be confused and out of control of the situation just because you were deaf.
‘No. I’m trying to find out what happened in there.’
‘What happened is that the A and E doctor could have done more. You did. It didn’t take much to explain what was happening to them.’ Beth felt herself flush. He’d been great in there, caring and professional at the same time, and he deserved more than a grudging acknowledgement that sounded more like a criticism than a compliment.
The almost imperceptible twitch of his lips indicated that he didn’t need marks out of ten for how he handled his patients. Not from her, anyway. ‘I’m not saying that there isn’t room for improvement.’ He paused, running his finger speculatively around the rim of his cup. ‘You’re not just mad about this one incident. It’s all the other times you’ve seen this happen that’s got you mad.’
‘Okay, then, yes, I’m angry.’ She was sick of this. Every time the world reared up and smacked her in the face, there he was, ready to pick her back up again. She was tired of feeling his liquid blue eyes on her while she was struggling to cope with one sticky situation or another.
‘So what are you going to do about it?’ His question was quiet, measured.
‘There isn’t much I can do. As you just pointed out, it isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. It’s just the way things are.’ If pretending that were true was going to end this conversation any sooner then she was willing to give it a try.
He laughed in her face. ‘You don’t believe that! No one with the kind of passion that you have truly believes they can’t change things.’
‘So what’s wrong with a bit of passion?’
‘Nothing. Do you think I don’t feel it, too?’ The sudden flare in his eyes, the way his lips curved slightly told her that he did. He might keep it firmly under control, but Matt Sutherland was no stranger to passion. She almost choked on the thought.
She could keep her mouth shut, but her hands betrayed her. Okay, I feel it.
He seemed to get the gist of her gestures. ‘Then let me put my cards on the table. And perhaps you’ll show me yours.’
‘Let’s see yours for starters.’
His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose in a brief expression of frustration and then he cleared a space on his desk, placing a thick document in the middle of it. ‘This is the list of areas that I want to review in the cardiology department.’
‘You’ll be busy for a while, then.’
‘That’s the idea. There are a lot of items on here that are all about organisation and communication. If we can get that right, then I believe that it’ll have real clinical benefits for our patients as well as improving their experience of our service.’ He gestured towards a pile of files to one side of him. ‘No-shows, for instance, which cause us a great deal of trouble and put the patient at risk.’
He stopped suddenly and flipped through the files. ‘I thought Doug’s name rang a bell. It so happens that he missed an appointment with me last Friday.’