"What happened to him? Nick?"
"You know what happens when cops bust cops. They beat the crap out of him. Said he resisted but I know he didn't. Broke three ribs, a couple fingers, smashed his face all up. Pleaded guilty but he still got twenty to thirty."
"For hijacking?" Rhyme was astonished.
"He worked a couple of the jobs himself. Pistol-whipped one driver, took a shot at another one. Just to scare him. I know it was just to scare him. But the judge threw him away." She closed her eyes, pressed her lips together hard.
"When he got collared, Internal Affairs went after him like they were in heat. They checked pen registers. We were real careful about calling each other. He said perps sometimes tapped his line. But there were some calls to my place. IA came after me too. So Nick just cut me off. I mean, he had to. Otherwise I would've gone down with him. You know IA--it's always a goddamn witch-hunt."
"What happened?"
"To convince them that I wasn't anything to him . . . Well, he said some things about me." She swallowed, her eyes fixed on the floor. "At the IA inquest they wanted to know about me. Nick said, 'Oh, P.D. Sachs? I just fucked her a few times. Turned out she was lousy. So I dumped her.' " She tilted her head back and mopped tears with her sleeve. "The nickname? P.D."
"Lon told me."
She frowned. "Did he tell you what it means?"
"The Portable's Daughter. After your father."
She smiled wanly. "That's how it started. But that's not how it ended up. At the inquest Nick said I was such a lousy fuck it really stood for 'Pussy Diver' 'cause I probably liked girls better. Guess how fast that went through the department."
"It's a low common denominator out there, Sachs."
She took a deep breath. "I saw him in court toward the end of the inquest. He looked at me once and . . . I can't even describe what was in his eyes. Just pure heartbreak. Oh, he did it to protect me. But still . . . You were right, you know. About the lonely stuff."
"I didn't mean--"
"No," she said, unsmiling. "I hit you, you hit me. That was fair. And you were right. I hate being alone. I wantto go out, I want to meet somebody. But after Nick I lost my taste for sex." Sachs gave a sour laugh. "Everybody thinks looking like me's wonderful. I could have my pick of guys, right? Bullshit. The only ones with the balls to ask me out're the ones who want to screw all the time. So I just gave up. It's easier by myself. I hate it, but it's easier."
At last Rhyme understood her reaction at seeing him for the first time. She was at ease with him because here was a man who was no threat to her. No sexual come-ons. Someone she wouldn't have to fend off. And perhaps a certain camaraderie too--as if they were both missing the same, crucial gene.
"You know," he joked, "you and me, we ought to get together and not have an affair."
She laughed. "So tell me about your wife. How long were you married?"
"Seven years. Six before the accident, one after."
"And she left you?"
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"Nope. I left her. I didn't want her to feel guilty about it."
"Good of you."
"I'd have driven her out eventually. I'm a prick. You've only seen my good side." After a moment he asked, "This thing with Nick . . . it have anything to do with why you're leaving Patrol?"
"No. Well, yes."
"Gunshy?"
Finally she nodded. "Life on the street's different now. That's what did it to Nick, you know. What turned him. It's not like it was when Pop was walking his beat. Things were better then."
"You mean it's not like the stories your dad told you."
"Maybe," she conceded. Sachs slumped the chair. "The arthritis? That's true but it's not as serious as I pretend it is."
"I know," Rhyme said.