Letting You Go (Stone Lake 1)

“I mean, he’s got big ears, and I don’t really dig guys with light colored hair, but he’s not bad, right?”

“Gavin?”

“No, dummy. Wally Andrews.”

“He’s alright, I guess. I never really thought about it.”

“I think he’s cute. Course if we get married then I’ll be stuck being called Julie Andrews and people will make fun of me and sing those weird musical numbers from The Sound of Music. That’s a third level of hell that I don’t need in my life.”

“You’ve just turned seventeen, Jules. I don’t think you need to worry about marriage just now.”

“It never hurts for a girl to scope out her options, Luna. Maybe you ought to do the same.”

“No thank you. I’m swearing off boys.”

“Gavin Lodge is not the only hot guy in this world, Luna. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.”

“They’re all idiots, regardless,” I mutter.

“You have options. That’s all I’m saying,” she reminds me as we make it into Mrs. Francis’ AP English class.

I give her a look that I hope she interprets as ‘no way in hell.’ Then, I make my way back to my seat. My eyes automatically go across the room to the back row. Gavin Lodge is sitting there. He’s wearing a faded red t-shirt and worn blue jeans. His hair is rumpled, and it looks like he forgot to brush it today. It looks really good.

He looks really good.

He’s staring at me. I avoid his eyes and turn back around to look toward the front of the class.

I know I should hate him. Instead, all I feel is sad and broken. That’s silly, I know.

It just doesn’t change things.

Chapter Fourteen

Gavin

Ten Months Later

* * *

“Happy Birthday.”

Luna’s head jerks up and when she looks at me all of the color leaves her face.

“My birthday was months ago,” she mutters, turning away from me.

I reach out and grab her hand, even though I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have spoken to her. I shouldn’t have followed her out of the school. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop myself and here we are. Now, I’m touching her and reaching out to her, because I can’t stop that either.

“Let me go, Gavin,” she demands, and it might be my imagination, but her voice sounds like it’s filled with anguish.

I hate like hell that I’m hurting her, but the last ten months have left me hollow inside. I kept thinking that time would make it easier, but it turns out, once you’ve had Luna Marshall in your arms, there’s no going back.

At least not for me.

“Talk to me, Luna. Just for a minute.”

“I don’t think we have anything to say to each other.”

She’s right. Only I need to just the same.

“I just want to talk. Do you like being a senior?”

It’s a lame question, but then again, everything I can come up with in my head sounds lame.

“What do you want, Gavin?”

“You look beautiful tonight.”

Her face goes pale, I see it even with only the lights around the school and the moon. It was a stupid thing to say.

That’s me.

Stupid and lame.

“I’ll see you around,” she says, moving to walk away, but her foot twists and she stumbles. I dive in, catching her quickly, before she falls from the concrete patio that we’re on and tumbles down the steps. Her body goes stiff in my arms. I look down at her beautiful face and my heart squeezes inside of my chest.

Telling her she was beautiful might have been a stupid thing to say, but it was true. The school is having their back to school dance tonight and I didn’t really come for it. I came to see Luna. She didn’t bring a date, neither did her friend Jules. Jules hooked up at the dance, but except for a few dances—one with my worthless brother—Luna spent most of the night solo or with her friends. She was easily the prettiest girl there, wearing a soft teal silk dress and her long hair pulled up on top of her head. She changed her hair color over the summer. It’s bright blonde now, getting rid of the soft golden hair from before. I like both. Then again, I’d like Luna even if she was bald. She’s beautiful inside and out, it’s simply that the outside is gorgeous too.

She straightens back up and pulls out of my arms. I let her go, because really, I have no choice.

“Thanks,” she mumbles.

“Luna—”

“Gavin—”

I give a half-hearted smile. “You first.”

“Why?”

“Luna—”

“Why did you do it? That’s all I want to know. You had to know I liked you. Did you enjoy hurting me? Was it really just a way to get even with Attie?”

“What’s between us, Luna—”

“There’s nothing really between us,” she argues and she’s wrong.

“What’s between us has nothing to do with Atticus, Luna.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“Would it be too much to start over, Luna?”