Letting You Go (Stone Lake 1)

“I’m going to tell them, Gavin, I swear.”

“When? We’ve been sneaking around like this—”

“It’s not been that long, Gavin,” I defend.

“It’s been almost three months, Luna. Three months I’ve been this dirty little secret, only seeing you on the weekends when you go over to your girl’s house,” he growls.

I wish I could say this is coming out of left field, but I know that it’s not. Gavin has been getting increasingly upset over keeping our relationship under wraps. He hates that I talk to Jules and Atticus through the day but have to walk past him like I don’t even see him. I hate it too, it tears me up to ignore him, but I think he doesn’t see that part of it.

“I’m going to tell them, Gavin, I swear. I love you.”

“Do you? I don’t see you going up to your father and telling him about us. I don’t see you doing anything to change any of this. All I see is you hiding.”

“You’re not being fair, Gavin.”

“I don’t feel like being fair. I’m nineteen. I am not some scared kid that’s going to crawl on the ground to hide the woman who says she loves him.”

“If I tell my father we’re still seeing each other, he’ll transfer me to private school, and I’ll never get out of the house. Then, we’ll never see each other. Is that what you want, Gavin?”

“You should get up, Luna. You better go see what your Dad is here for,” he says, turning away from me and getting inside his truck.

That panic inside of me gets worse and three words reverberate in my brain.

This is bad.

Why does it feel like I’m losing Gavin? I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that if I walk away from here, I might lose him forever.

That thought is terrifying…

Chapter Thirty Seven

Gavin

Damn it.

I know I’m not being fair. I know I’m being an asshole. Luna doesn’t deserve this, not really. But, Christ! What man wants to cower down beside his truck and hide like a damn kid. I’m not a kid anymore and despite what Luna’s parents think, I could be good for Luna. I could…

In my head, I hear Atticus’s voice from months ago telling me that Luna will never choose me—that she will always pick her parents and Stone Lake. I’ve heard them over and over constantly ever since he first said them, and I can’t seem to shake them. I love Luna. I live for every moment I get with her, and as the months pass and we get closer to her birthday, to prom and ultimately graduation the time for her to decide is closer. Does she already know her decision? She says she’ll go with me. She says she doesn’t even need to think about it, but is she telling the truth? Is the future of us as real to her as it is to me? I can’t be sure, and to be honest, I’m not confident she will choose me. I’m actually starting to believe Atticus is right. Luna will pick her parents and staying in Stone Lake. I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares of Luna saying goodbye to me.

“Gavin, stop,” Luna says, standing up and standing at my truck door.

Her voice is muffled, and I should just leave, but I’ve already been a big enough dick. I crank the window down and stare at the girl I love more than breathing. She has no idea how bleak my life is here. She doesn’t know that Atticus and I weren’t able to keep the electricity on this last month and we’ve been sleeping under blankets and all the clothes we can fit on our bodies at one time. Last night I had on three pair of pants and thermal underwear. I’ve been at school all day and yet, my balls are still fucking frozen. I tore Atticus away from my father last night. Atticus came in late and Dad caught him and started beating the shit out of him. My brother might have been able to hold his own, but Dad caught him by surprise by hitting him across the back with a baseball bat. If he had gone higher and hit his head, chances are that Atticus wouldn’t be here. I’ve got bruises under my clothes from Dad’s licks, getting even with me for interrupting the fight, but I put the old man on his ass and got Atticus out of there.

I didn’t talk to my brother, I didn’t say another word to my father. There was really nothing to say. This is our life. This is what we have, and I can’t keep staying here. I have to get away. The only thing here for me is Luna…