Letting You Go (Stone Lake 1)

“Nervous. I’m so nervous, Gavin and I don’t know why.”

“We don’t have to do this tonight, Luna.”

“No! I want to. It’s not like that…”

“Then, what is it?

“What if I’m no good at this?”

I look at this woman who apparently has no idea how much I love her. She’s grasping her hands so tightly they’re white. She looks up at me, her face so scared and earnest that maybe I shouldn’t, but I smile.

“Babe,” I murmur, shaking my head.

“Gavin, I’m serious—”

“Don’t you get it yet, Luna?”

“Get what?”

“Baby, I love you so much. There’s nothing about you that could ever disappoint me. Fuck, Luna, I’m over here praying that I can eventually be good enough for you.”

“That’s crazy,” she says shaking her head.

“No, it’s not, Luna. Look at you. You’re so far above me that I shouldn’t have even tried to be in your world.”

“I’m glad you did,” she responds, softening in my arms.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because now you are my world, Gavin.” Her words are so sweet, and I can tell from the look in her eyes that she means them. I bend down and pick her up, cradling her against my body. “What are you doing?” Luna laughs, her arms looping behind my neck as I carry her up the stairs.

“Showing you that you’re my world too,” I tell her, which isn’t a lie. But I will admit, it’s a tad more romantic than telling her that I’m taking you to bed because I’m dying to be inside of you…

“This isn’t Jules’ room,” she says when we finally get there. I let her slide to the floor then lock the bedroom door. I know Jules said she’d be out all night and most of tomorrow—but it’s better to be safe. I don’t want anything ruining this night for Luna—for either of us.

“It’s a guest room. I wanted… tonight to be special. I was going to get a hotel room…”

“This is better,” she says looking up at me. “There are so many roses…”

“I might have gone a little overboard,” I mutter, feeling uncomfortable. Still, I move around the room lighting the candles—I might as well make a complete fool of myself. When I’m done, I turn out the overhead light and the room softens with the muted glow from the candles.

“You went to a lot of effort here…”

“Luna, if you’re still not ready, you don’t have to feel pressured. That’s not what this is about.”

“I don’t feel pressured,” she says walking toward me.

“Good, that’s the last thing I want. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have a choice—”

“Gavin?”

“Yeah, Moonbeam?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

I look at her smiling up at me and like that the nerves disappear. She wants this. She wants me.

Now, I have to make sure she never regrets it.

Chapter Fifty Two

Luna

“I’m a little nervous, Gavin, but I want this. I want to belong to you.”

“We’ll belong to each other, Luna. From this moment on, that’s just the way it will be. You and me against the world.”

“I like that.”

I step away from him then, our gazes remaining locked.

“I’m not sure what to do here…”

“What do you want to do, Moonbeam?

“Hide under the covers,” I tell him honestly, seeming way too exposed and I’m not even undressed yet.

“Then, do it.”

“Really?”

“Tonight is all about what you want, Luna. If you want me to undress you under the covers then I’ll do that.”

“Have I told you that I love you, Gavin?”

“I’ve heard it once or twice,” he jokes. “Do you want me to blow out the candles?”

“No… I like the candles… it’s nice, but still… kind of dark,” I tell him, and I know I’m blushing, but I doubt he can see that in this light—something to be thankful for.

“Do you want me to undress under the covers, too?” he asks and my heart melts. I don’t know much about being in a relationship—at least one where sex is involved—but, I doubt other guys would be this understanding. That reinforces the fact that I’m doing the right thing giving him my virginity. Gavin is the one and whatever is ahead of us, it will be okay because we will be together.

“It’s probably a double standard, but…”

“But?”

“Can I watch you?” I mumble and then I remember what we did the last time we were together and heat fires through my body—along with desire. “Undress I mean. Not what… not what we did before. I mean I liked that—liked it a lot, but I was hoping it would end different this time and I just, I thought—”

“Go get in bed, Luna,” Gavin says, smiling at me.

“Oh,” I respond, backing away. “I’ll just… I’ll just get in bed now.”

“Good plan, Babe.”

Maybe I’m silly, but I love when he calls me babe. My heart feels like it is beating a million miles a minute. I kick off my shoes and socks, feeling all kinds the idiot. Jules told me to pack a sexy nightie and I didn’t. It felt weird. I wore a bra and panty set that I liked, they’re a soft pink and I think they look good on me, but now that I think about it, Jules was probably right. Gavin probably thinks I’m so lame, that’s all I can think as I slide under the cover, still fully clothed in my white shirt and soft blue skirt.