“What happened then?”
“I told him I was in the hospital and needed to talk to Gavin. He said he’d have him call me.”
“And when he did?”
“Gavin never called.”
“How can you be sure he got the message?”
“I had Atticus get a hold of his brother. Gavin told him he wanted nothing more to do with me that he had a new life now and was happy. He asked that I leave him alone.”
“But—”
“And just in case everyone was right, and I couldn’t trust Atticus, I asked Wally to talk to Gavin.”
“Fuck, but Luna…”
“He knows about Josh, Ben. After Josh was born, I tried one last time to talk to Gavin. The delivery was so hard, and I was so sick that I sent Gavin an envelope with the form to have his name put on the birth certificate or an affidavit for him to sign to give up rights to his son. I wrote him a note, telling him that I loved him, but that this was about our son now and he needed to decide what role he was going to take in our child’s life. I sent the papers by Atticus and he flew out to Washington D.C., where Gavin was. When he came back, there was a note on FBI letterhead asking me to stop contacting him, signed by Gavin and…”
“And?”
“The affidavit was filled out, signed by Gavin and notarized.”
“Fuck.”
“I could never allow myself to have a relationship again with Gavin, Ben. He gave up our son. I could never ignore that.”
“I’m sorry, Luna.”
“I’m okay,” I tell him, and I’m only partly lying.
I am fine. I turn and snuggle back into Ben’s arms and then I let my gaze drift back to my stairs.
It’s Joshua I’m worried about the most…
Gavin
“Why did you tell your son about me?”
I didn’t mean to bark out the question quite like that, but I can’t stop myself. It’s Monday, day three since the incident at Luna’s. I left after her son went upstairs. I didn’t want to, but the questions I had, the thoughts that were sifting through my head were too much to tackle—at least with the sheriff around and Luna’s boy upstairs. I needed to talk to her alone. I needed to wrap my head around the twisted thoughts in my head. It was all adding up, but yet it didn’t make any sense.
It couldn’t be…
And yet, what other explanation was there?
“Gavin, what are you doing here? You can’t just show up at my house unannounced.”
“You weren’t at your office.”
“I took the day off.”
“Are you sick?” I ask, looking her over, instantly concerned.
“It’s been a rough weekend,” she mumbles, avoiding my eyes.
“Why did you tell your son about me, Luna?”
“Apparently, it’s going to be a rough Monday too, delightful. Come in, I’m not having this conversation outside for the neighbors to hear.”
She stands back to let me enter. I look around her living room, noticing the window has been boarded up. I should have done that the other night, but I was wrestling with too much to think clearly. I’m sure Kingston probably did it. Luna lives in her parent’s old home. She’s changed it completely though. It’s softer now, more colorful, and definitely not as formal. She’s had the kitchen redone, knocked out a wall and made the kitchen, dining and living area all open. It’s nice.
“Where’s… Where’s Josh?”
“He’s at school.”
“Why did you tell him about me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“We were over, finished.”
“That was your choice, Gavin,” she says, and I can tell she’s keeping a tight leash on her frustration. She should join the crowd, because I’m right there with her.
“You pushed me away, Luna. You’re the one who wouldn’t leave with me.”
“And you wouldn’t stay.”
The futility of the situation slides through me. There’s no way to win this argument. It always boils down to the same old thing. I can’t change the past, even if I want to most of the time, and I can’t erase the choices either of us made.
“I’m not here to get in this with you again. It’s done we can’t go back.”
“I agree,” she says, crossing her arms over her torso, clearly upset with me. “So, why are you here?”
“There are things we need to talk about.”
“You don’t get to do this now, Gavin. It’s taken me a lot of years, but I’m finally at a point in my life where I have a good man, a man I can trust, and you’re not going to waltz in and mess with my head and screw this up for me. I won’t allow you to. You’re not even here to stay! You’re just sweeping in to wreak havoc and then you’ll be gone, leaving me to pick up the pieces in your wake—just like last time.”
“That’s not fair. I begged you to go with me back then, Luna. How long are you going to hold the past against me?”