I’ve barely pulled in and stopped the vehicle when Luna jumps out. She’s pissed at me, and she has every right. She’s tried to talk on the way here, and I’ve pretty much ignored her. I don’t know what to say. I’m still trying to process shit, and all I can see was Joshua’s face looking at me, cold as hell, telling me he doesn’t need me.
He doesn’t. Why would he? I haven’t been a part of his life and he’s almost thirteen.
Thirteen.
I’ve been robbed of so much and my own stupidity helped them take it from me. How do I make my son understand something that I’m having trouble comprehending myself?
“Luna?” Kingston barks as Luna walks toward him.
I’m a few feet behind her, but I can see the anger on his face, and it’s fucked up, but I like it. I want him to be jealous. Maybe if he is, I can convince myself that I have a shot with Luna again. Which is stupid, because I need to concentrate on trying to get to know my son right now, and nothing else. Still…
“Ben—”
“What are you doing here with… him?”
It’s the wrong time to smile but I do, though I look down at the ground to hide it. There’s nothing to be smiling about, but damn if it doesn’t feel good to watch Kingston squirm.
“Gavin came over to the house and—”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Kingston nearly growls, talking over Luna.
“It shouldn’t. Luna and I share a past.”
“That’s just it, Lodge, it’s the past. I think you’re trying to forget that.”
“We have a son together.”
Jesus. It sounds surreal to say that out loud. Luna and I have a son together. Until this moment, I never really thought of it like that. It was always that I had a son I never knew about. Somehow, the significance that this child was mine and Luna’s and what that meant had escaped me with all the shock and other emotions that poured through me with the discovery. I have a child with the woman I once loved more than anything in this world. Hell, the only woman I’ve ever loved. Now there are more emotions surging through me. I can’t name them, but it makes my chest tight.
“The way I hear it, you signed over all rights to that son,” Kingston says, interrupting my thoughts and crashing me back into reality.
“You heard it wrong,” I deny. It’s not exactly the truth, but it’s close enough.
“Luna—”
“Talk with her about it later, Kingston. Better yet, talk with both of us, because when it involves my son I want to be there. Right now, this is not the place.”
“Right,” Kingston says, sharing a quick look with Luna. Luna looks at me briefly and it’s easy to read the confusion on her face. I wish I could take it away, but hell, I feel the same.
“You care to explain to me why you haven’t called me down here?”
“I’m still canvassing the area. It may not have anything to do with your case, Lodge, and if it doesn’t, I don’t need you stomping all over my investigation.”
“Bullshit. You know if there’s a murder that me or Dern need to be here overseeing everything until it’s determined if this case is related.”
“This is still my town and while we’re on the subject, Luna is my woman.”
“You guys want to take a break from your pissing match to discuss this case?” Luna mutters, walking between us. Kingston’s face is tight, and his anger is evident. But, at Luna’s words, he snaps his mouth closed.
“Guess I know who wears the pants in your relationship,” I say with a smirk. It’s a stupid thing to say and an even dumber move. The truth is, I have so much anger inside of me that I need something to beat down and right now Kingston’s face seems like the logical choice.
“You fucking bastard,” Kingston barks, and his hand curls into a fist. I know it wouldn’t take much to make him boil over, and I want that more than I could even begin to fucking explain.
“Gavin, if you can’t be professional and treat Ben—Sheriff Kingston—with respect then you need to leave. We can have Dern cover the case instead.”
There’s a lot I could say to that, but it’s not worth the effort, so I nod an agreement. I do need to get my head on this case and Luna was right to call me on my shit. She stares at me for a minute, her face hard. Then, she walks off toward the entrance of the bar.
I follow her, Kingston falling into step beside me.
“Seems to me she’s the one wearing the pants when it comes to you, Lodge. Maybe if you obey enough, she can pat you on the back and throw you a Scooby snack.”