“The feeling is mutual.”
“We’re probably never going to be friends.”
“That news most likely won’t keep me up at night, Kingston. I’ve only had one friend, that didn’t go so well.”
“Don’t you have a woman back in D.C. or wherever? Someone you need to get back to?”
“This job doesn’t leave room for women that often—at least not the kind you move into your home and plan a future with.”
“There’s been no one in thirteen years you wanted to give a ring to?”
“Hate to disappoint you, Kingston, but if you’re looking for dirt to give Luna or something to make yourself feel better about me being this close to her again, you’re not going to find it. I’ve not been a monk, but there’s never been anyone in my life who meant as much as Luna.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“I’m calling bullshit. You mean in all this time you’ve been pining over a woman you loved in high school? No fucking way that’s true.”
“I told you, I haven’t been a monk, but I learned pretty quickly that good women are rare. Women like Luna don’t just come along. I met one a year ago. She was a sweet woman, who had been dealt a rough draw in the family lottery. I helped her and a little boy get to safety.”
“And you didn’t make a move on her?”
“Thought about it.”
“What stopped you?”
I think back on my time with Rory. Replaying my time with her, trying to piece my thoughts together. I don’t know why I’m telling Kingston, but maybe getting it out will help clear my head.
“She loved a man who I can admit was a good guy, he just fucked up with her. I could have tried but…”
“But?”
“There are good women you love that you’ll fight until your dying breath for and good women you let go because they’ll be happier with someone else.”
I let him mull that over. Shit, I do too. I should have fought for Luna all those years ago. I was young and stupid. Hell, she was way too young to deal with everything coming at her. There were so many mistakes made between us they could fill a river. The only question I have now, is there enough there between us for me to fight now? There is on my side, but Luna has clearly moved on.
Is everything she once felt for me dead?
“You didn’t fight for her back then.”
“I was young and stupid,” I tell him, turning down the road that leads to Main Street. The sooner Kingston gets out of my car, the better.
“You have to know that if you try to push yourself back into Luna’s life, I’m going to fight. I’m not stupid, I know what kind of woman she is, and I know I can make her happy.”
“Fair enough, but either way, I’m going to be a part of my son’s life, Kingston. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You gave him away. You signed over your rights.”
“Luna told you that?”
“Luna and I talk about everything. If you ever wanted a shot with Luna, you had to know that destroyed it, Lodge.”
“I signed a paper I thought were forms for my admission into an internship with the Bureau. I didn’t know I was signing over all rights to my son.”
My grip goes so tight on the steering wheel that I’m surprised the damn thing doesn’t break. Kingston lets out a long whistle, and I have to tap down the urge to kill him—not because of anything other than I need someone to take my anger out on and he seems like the best candidate at the moment.
“I take it that’s what happened to Dern.”
“Stellar detective work, Kingston.”
“I can almost feel bad for you, Lodge.”
“Thanks, my life is complete now.”
“Not enough to let go of Luna, though. I guess you’re just destined to always meet good women you can’t keep. Maybe one day you’ll find one that will stick.”
“I’m going to fight for her too, Kingston. You should know that. I respect you, but I walked away from her before, I’m not going to do it again. Luna is going to have to tell me there’s nothing there for me to fight for.”
“She’s mine now, Lodge. You need to respect that and back off.”
“I’m respecting you by telling you I’m not going anywhere. That’s all you get.”
We drive the rest of the way in silence and when I pull up to the department, Kingston gets out without a word. I pull out and head toward Luna’s. As I’m driving there’s only one thought on my mind.
Maybe Luna has always been mine, and I just need to remind her of that.
God knows I’ve always been hers, even if she didn’t know it.
Luna
I’m tired. Joshua and I have been gone all day. After all of the turmoil with Gavin, and then Elaine’s death, my son and I needed a break. So, I loaded Joshua up and we drove into the mountains to his favorite park. We spent the day hiking, which is one of his favorite things to do, then went to his favorite pizza joint, played some air hockey and crashed back home.