“I don’t hate him,” I whisper, answering guiltily—like it’s a horrible secret that I should be punished for. “Life would be so much easier if I could hate him.”
“What do you feel about him?” she presses and shit… that’s the question that I have no idea how to answer.
“Conflicted… torn,” I answer, finally giving her the one response that is one hundred percent truthful.
“How do you feel about our resident sheriff?”
I look at her then, feeling helpless.
“Conflicted… torn,” I laugh sadly.
She looks at me, her keen eyes appraising me, and I know she sees more than I’ve told her, because Meghan always can. Suddenly, she leans over and hugs me.
“It’s going to be okay, Luna.”
“I don’t know how,” I whisper, wishing I could see a way out of this that was easy and worked for everyone—but mostly for Joshua.
“Let your heart lead you, sweetie. That’s all you can do.”
“That sounds so easy, but I have no idea what my heart wants, Meghan. And, even if I did, who’s to say what my heart wants is what is best for Joshua?”
“Those are really important questions. First, I’d like to say that what’s best for you and Joshua might be two different things. I’m not sure, maybe it’s not, but you have to decide that. If you decide you want Ben, then Gavin and Joshua can still have a relationship. If you decide you want to see what is really between you and Gavin, then his and Joshua’s relationship can still be separate from that.”
“Maybe,” I whisper. The thought of even trying a relationship with Gavin fills me with anxiety and…anticipation. Even as I can feel the excitement bubbling at the prospect there’s guilt because of Ben…
I’m a freaking mess.
“You really should figure it out sooner rather than later, Luna.”
“Why’s that?” I ask, taking another drink and deciding to not think about anything tonight other than the fact that alcohol can take away my worries at least for one night.
“Because Gavin has just spotted you and is headed over this way,” she says.
When I look up, I see him. He’s staring straight at me, his eyes intense as he weaves through the people to get to me, his gaze never leaving me.
Shit.
Gavin
“Ladies.”
I look at Luna as I speak, seeing her friend out of the corner of my eye, but she’s not the reason I’m here. She’s not the reason I was drawn to walk across the crowded bar. That would be Luna, who looks fucking beautiful tonight. She’s wearing a red shirt with a matching skirt that has black trim. Her hair is fixed and styled so that it accents her high cheekbones, shows off her neckline and makes me want to wrap my fingers in it—then again, I always want to do that when I’m around Luna.
Luna doesn’t talk. She looks up at me, a black straw stuck between her sweet lips, sipping her drink, her eyes large as she watches me.
“Gavin Lodge, my Wally talks about you often.”
“Wally? You must be Meghan,” I reply, finally tearing my gaze away from Luna and looking at her friend.
Meghan’s pretty, and something about her is familiar, so I guess I might have seen her once or twice all those years ago. She reaches out her hand and I shake it, fighting the urge not to return my attention to Luna—and losing.
“That’d be me,” she quips, and I should talk to her, but instead my gaze is locked on Luna.
“Are you okay, Luna?”
“Hunky dory,” she mutters, the straw in her mouth.
“You going to try and drink the whole thing without a breath?” I ask, finding myself smiling.
“Maybe,” she says, the straw still trapped.
I sit down at their table, not waiting for an invite. I don’t look away from Luna, even if I could. Her eyes go round and large, but she doesn’t do anything else.
“Have a seat,” Meghan says, dryly, and I do manage to flash her a smile in return to the one she’s giving me. I’m not fooling her, and I’m not trying either. I want Luna.
I need her.
“Thanks,” I laugh, because it’s clear Meghan has me pegged. I’m not exactly trying to hide it anyway.
“I think I’ll go to the ladies’ room and check on Josh and Levi. I assume Luna will be okay in your company until I get back,” she asks me, and when I tear my eyes away from Luna this time, I can see Meghan is serious, and I have a feeling she’s asking me a lot in that one question. So, I give her an honest answer.
“Luna will always be safe with me.”
She frowns, studying me, but she finally nods her head yes and leaves.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Luna says, finally letting go of her straw to talk to me.
“I’m not here to get drunk, Luna. I just… the hotel room gets lonely.”