That news made me jerk. “What do you mean? Carter always smiles.”
All four women looked at me, making me shrink slightly in my seat.
“Uh, no, honey, he doesn’t.” Heidi shook her head as she sucked on the straw in her glass of water. “Carter hardly smiles. He basically just smolders with that hot, serious look on his face.”
I knew the look she was talking about, but he honestly did smile all the time. Didn’t he?
“Ah, it’s sinking in,” Jacinda drawled. “Give it another ten seconds, and we might have a full Jenga.”
She was wrong—it only took me four seconds.
“You mean he only smiles around Shanti and me?”
“No.” Evie shook her head and leaned in, prompting the rest of us do the same. “He smiles, but it’s a quick flash of a smile here and there. He never stays smiling unless he’s around you guys.”
“That’s- It’s—” I spluttered. “What is that?”
“That, Naomi, is the sign that a woman and a little girl make a man who sees the world more seriously than most feel happy. When the man’s like Carter, that’s rare. You guys are his piece of special in a tough world.” Heidi’s words resonated with me.
He did that for me, but I had no clue I did something similar for him.
“I feel like I need to wear an adult diaper,” I admitted, picking up my spoon and stirring the tiny bit of coffee left in my cup for something to do. “I work with him, you guys, and I have practically no experience with men outside of Patrick, and that wasn’t even one of those relationships where you’re around each other all the time.
“If I use the bathroom at work, he’s going to know what I’m doing, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. What if it’s that time of the month? I have to carry my bag in there with me, and he’ll know because I don’t do it any other time of the month. What if I need to burp?” The words and scenarios poured out of me like verbal diarrhea.
“Who’s Patrick?” Sayla asked, leaning over, and squeezing my hand. “Don’t freak out, we’ll help you with this.”
Heidi answered for me, which was probably the only way they’d get an answer to the question seeing as how I was still freaking out.
“Patrick was her boyfriend in college. They were together for five months, but then she got the call about Shanti, and they ended things because there was no point in keeping it going. They’re still friends, and he’s a nice guy who sends Shanti presents and calls her on her birthday, but that’s all they are now.”
Understanding lit their faces.
“Ah,” Jacinda hummed. “Okay, so y’all didn’t spend a lot of time in each other’s spaces, huh?” When I shook my head, she nodded. “Gotcha. Well, the last thing you want to do is get adult diapers. If you pee, that shit’s gonna smell, and you’ll be stuck walking like you just made your way through the defensive line of a football team with your panties off.”
“Guys,” I whispered, feeling totally overwhelmed, “I went from being a lost kid to being a lost student to being a lost parent. There’s no part of my life up until the last three years where I’ve ever thought, ‘yeah, I’ve got this shit’ about my life. What am I meant to do with Carter? I don’t know what to do with any of this.”
Jacinda’s response was instant. “Jump him.” When we all rolled our eyes at her, she held her hands up in front of her. “Don’t shoot the messenger, and don’t underestimate the advice.
“Our girl doesn’t know how to fit a man and a relationship into a life where she’s finally happy and stable. The only way to do it is to look at it like a Band-Aid—just rip it off and get the most awkward part out of the way. He’s made it clear he likes her and that he’s all in with her and Shanti, so what’s she got to lose?”
I was hoping desperately one of the others had another idea, anything at all, but one by one, they all nodded and focused back on me.
“I hate to say it, but her advice makes sense,” Heidi shrugged. “He’s made it clear you’re both his, and you’re not arguing about that part, so you’ve accepted you want him in your life in that way. It’s the initial awkward stages that are the issue for you, so get them out of the way so you’re not stressed about it.”
“Shoot,” Evie squealed, looking at her watch. “We’ve gotta get back to the salon. I’ve got Mrs. Tingle coming in for a purple rinse.”
Getting to my feet and picking up some of our plates to take to the counter, I stopped when what she’d said registered.