“It does matter, Savage,” she answered softly. “Thank you for reminding me. I think I need that every now and then.” She gestured toward the wild sea. “That’s so crazy tonight. I love how it’s always changing.”
The ocean was roaring, throwing white waves high into the air, slashing at the sea stacks and bluffs. The wind tugged at the high grass on either side of them as they walked along the narrow dirt trail. The grass bent first one way and then the other, rolling like the waves.
“If you had to choose between a mediocre marriage where you’re comfortable but not really in love but you have children, or one where you’re both wildly in love but can’t have children, which would you choose?” Savage asked.
Seychelle was quiet, thinking it over. “Comfortable but not in love. No children but wildly in love. I’ve always thought I would want children, but I know I want to be loved. I also know it’s very important to me to love the man I’m with. I’d have to choose being wildly in love. That sounds like I’d be living in a fantasy world, but I know myself and I wouldn’t be very happy if I knew that the man I was with didn’t really love me, nor I him.” She looked up at him. “Same question.”
“I want my woman to love me, and I’d never take on a woman without loving her. Why do you prefer to hang out with older people?” He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her knuckles.
“Often, they’re lonely and they need someone to care, and I like to listen to their stories.”
He remained silent, knowing there was more. She was struggling to find the words. Struggling to decide whether or not to tell him.
“I don’t have control. I was never able to learn it. I try every day, but I just don’t have the ability to control certain things I need to when I’m around people. The older people give me a kind of peace most of the time. I don’t know any other way to explain it.”
There was no doubt in Savage’s mind that every word was chosen with care. He needed to think about her answer. She’d revealed something of extreme importance to him.
“Why a motorcycle club?”
“Freedom. We needed to feel free, and there isn’t a better way to feel free than on a motorcycle going down the highway.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and scraped his teeth along her knuckles, his gaze fixed on the powerful waves rushing toward the bluffs, thundering and roaring, with a vicious storm roiling beneath the surface. His life was like that. “Have you always felt you were unable to be in control?”
“Yes.” She answered without hesitation. “Why do you suppose, when I’ve never responded before to sexual stimulation, I responded tonight to the combination of pleasure and pain?”
It was his turn to take his time and think carefully before he responded. “To answer your question, I have to ask another question. Is that fair with our rules? Will I get a pass?”
“Yes.”
“When you read or watch movies, what kinds of books or movies most get you off?”
She frowned. “No movies. Sometimes the darker porn works. Books sometimes are interesting, but not enough to get me off.”
She was absolutely perfect for him. Honest. Able to communicate. Be direct.
“I think the situation was different, exciting, sinful and dirty, just the way we talked about. A fantasy you’d never had with anyone, and you were daring enough to try it,” Savage said. “What do you think appealed to you about the situation?”
“It made me feel alive. Hotter than hell. Bad.”
There was more. He knew there was, she just abruptly cut it off.
“Would you go for it again if you had the chance to learn more dirty, sinful things with me?” Savage asked.
Seychelle again spent a few moments giving his question some thought. He was very grateful he was as disciplined as he was. Her answer meant too much to him. He turned her away from the bluffs, back toward her cottage. The wind was just a little too biting.
“Given the opportunity, yes. Absolutely. Who else am I going to take advantage of?” She sent him a sassy grin. “What would you do if your wife cheated on you?”
He answered without hesitation. “Hunt down the man she cheated with. If he was a friend who knew me and betrayed me, I’d kill him, but he’d take a fuckin’ long time to die. If it was some poor bastard who didn’t know he was messing with the wrong woman, I’d beat him within an inch of his life and tell him not to come back. Then I’d go to my wife and find out what the hell went wrong and why she didn’t come and talk to me about it. Then she’d be punished.”