She only knew that the risks were enormous. He was capable of things she knew she couldn’t live with. That didn’t mean he’d do them. Without her, she knew he’d eventually go under. His hand was moving up her leg with those slow, mesmerizing circles that sent heat waves rushing through her veins, a seduction that would clearly work if she wasn’t going over every detail in her head.
She couldn’t blame him. He knew he was fighting for his life—and for hers. She would go under as well. She was slowly dying, unable to control her gift of healing. She’d never been happier than when she was with Savage. He wasn’t going to find another woman who would see into him, see what he had to battle every single day, and be willing to face that and join with him.
Savage was well aware she was his one shot and she saw more than that swirling pool of rage. She saw that other side of him. He had a strong need to protect. To have someone of his own. He was intensely loyal. He wasn’t at all a selfish man. He was capable of loving deeply.
Right now, when he knew she was weighing judgment, he might be using the pads of his fingers shamelessly, but he didn’t push for an answer. He didn’t say anything at all. He gave her the space—and the time she needed—to make a decision. You need us to stay, there’s no problem. If this was for the rest of her life, she had to believe she could do it. Both of them had to have faith she could do it. That’s what they would be going on. Faith, because neither could really know until she was in that position. She knew she wanted to do it for both of them, and that was half the battle.
He made it clear it wouldn’t be easy, and looking at the violence in him, she knew it wouldn’t be. Hearing him state the things he needed, she was more than scared: she was terrified. Even being terrified, she had to acknowledge to herself that deep inside, in a secret part of herself, she was more than excited at the prospect of what he would be asking of her. When he talked about his sexual needs, instead of flinching as she should have done, her body had grown hotter than she thought possible. Her blood pounded through her veins so hard she could barely hear him through the thunder in her ears. Was it terror or secret exhilaration?
Savage was a good man. She saw that clearly. He was losing his battle. He no longer believed he was worth saving, but she did, and he clung to that in her. Still, it wasn’t her job to save him. She knew that. She couldn’t make him happy; that wasn’t her responsibility. If she was going to be with him, she had to do it because she wanted to.
She wasn’t going to lie to herself. She needed him. She was drowning. She couldn’t keep the continual assault from her day and night when she was in any public situation. She didn’t want to hide in her house. She wanted to work. She loved to sing. She didn’t know how to stop giving herself away, and having Savage standing in front of her—and he would whether she liked it or not—would allow her freedom she didn’t have now.
She needed to be needed. That was who she was. If there was one person on the face of the earth who needed her, it was Savage. The relationship was dangerous and scary to just jump into, but he saw her when no one else did or could. Just as she saw into him, he saw into her. They were connected by their talents.
She wanted that scary, dangerous sex. She’d always craved it but was too afraid to seek it out. There were too many pitfalls if one went in that direction. She was intelligent enough to know that, but here he was, offering her a chance. It was a gamble. Nothing less.
She looked at him then. His gaze had never left her face. Her heart clenched in her chest. She knew she had already fallen hard. She was well on her way to loving him with everything in her. She could do this if she gave herself into his keeping, surrendered completely, but that was terrifying—living for someone else. Trusting that they lived for you.
Was he capable of loving her that completely? Giving her everything, as he promised he would? Could he really do that? The way he was looking at her, as if she was already his everything, was as addicting as the feeling of his fingers on her skin. He swore to her he was already there. She closed her eyes, knowing she was going to give him everything he wanted and more. She was going to take that leap, because it was impossible not to want to be with a man like Savage when he was offering it to her.