“You surprised me, and—”
“No,” I said fast, shaking my head, unable, it seemed, to remain silent. “I freaked you out and made you uncomfortable, and it was not—”
“I wasn’t freaked out, Brann, and you’re not the first—”
“I don’t think sometimes—a lot of times—and it’s gotten me into a ton of trouble in my life, and now I messed this up, and—”
“You’re not,” he growled, sounding frustrated, his right hand clenching into a fist on the counter, “listening to me, and if we could—”
“It’s only been a month, so really, I could still go and—”
“No!” he yelled, and the room went silent.
I turned to the table, and both girls were staring at us. “I don’t know why your dad got so upset, but he’s taking a hard pass on chicken livers for dinner tonight, even though I said you guys would totally love them.
Both girls looked horrified.
“Tell your dad thank you.”
“Thank you, Daddy!” Olivia yelled.
“Ohmygod, thanks, Dad,” April echoed, squinting at me like I was insane.
He took a breath, smiled at them, and then turned back to me. “Would you please come into the other room with—”
“I don’t want you to think I would ever do anything to—”
“Brann,” he said huskily, taking a step away from me, “would you please walk into the hall so we can talk about—”
“I swear I won’t ever touch—”
“I’m not worried about that,” he insisted, clipping his words, glaring at me, reaching for my bicep. “Please come here.”
Rushing by him, I walked under the arch that marked the division between the kitchen and the hallway and then rounded to wait for him, only to realize that he was right there, nearly plowing into me.
I scrambled back, not wanting to touch him, afraid of what he’d think.
“Shit,” he groaned. He’d been ready to reach for me, I felt it in a way I’d come to think of as instinctive, but he caught himself and let his hand fall to his side instead. “Brann, I need to explain what—”
“I never meant to scare you or disgust you, and I’m sick about it, and if I could take—”
“Oh, for the love of God, Brann, you didn’t scare me or force me or anything else,” he almost yelled. “You surprised me, and that’s it.”
I heard him that time, and my relief was staggering.
As long as I hadn’t made him stand there while I kissed him, the incident was forgivable. If he hadn’t been able to get away, if I’d cornered and caged him, made him feel defenseless and demeaned, then absolving myself was out of the question. But he wasn’t saying that. He was telling me things hadn’t happened that way.
“If we could—”
“I am really so very sorry,” I said quickly, hoping he could hear the sincerity and pain there and know I meant it. Heart and soul meant it.
He shook his head. “No. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”
“I do.”
His gaze was locked on my face. “Brann, you—”
“Please tell me, are we okay?”
His brows furrowed, and his face scrunched-up like he was in pain. “Of course we’re okay, but I think we need to—”
“Forget it,” I rushed out, feeling the weight of shame and fear evaporate and leaving me so very thankful for the do-over. “We need to just forget it. You were clear, and I absolutely heard you, I swear to God.”
“Brann—”
“No, Emery, really,” I said, exhaling a deep breath as I pivoted around him, then looked back over my shoulder for only a moment. “I so appreciate you giving me another chance.”
“Could you please—”
“Hey, is there a pumpkin patch or someplace for us to go?” I asked the girls as I rushed away from him and back into the kitchen, then stopped beside the table to look at them. “Because it’s almost Halloween, and you guys are seriously lacking in orange around here.”
The shouts for pumpkin patch were loud.
Emery couldn’t go. It turned out Lydia and the others had returned as well, so now he had to be at a wedding planning session. He went on to explain that he had friends of his from college who would be in Helena for a conference until Wednesday night.
“But Wednesday is Halloween, and I usually—”
“You don’t have to worry about taking us now,” April said excitedly, like she was problem-solving his life. “Now Brann can take us, and you can be with your friends!”
“Honey, I—”
“Daddy was worried about how he was going to be in two places at one time,” April informed me. “He was gonna have to take us trick-or-treating early and then leave us with my friend Nicki and her mom.”
“Oh, then this works out great,” I said to Emery. “I’ll take them, and you can go.”
“That’s not—”
“What should I be?” I asked the girls. “Maybe we could go get me something and then hit the pumpkin patch after.”