“Are you kidding?” I asked him, staring, hoping I appeared as annoyed as I felt. “You had the option of building a resort instead of getting married, and you went with door number two? Are you high?”
He glanced at Jules and Mal, both of whom also seemed concerned over his mental capacity, and then exhaled a deep breath of frustration. “The resort doesn’t just get built in a day, and there’s a lot of work to do before you even break ground, and—”
“You were worried it wasn’t a sure thing,” Jules offered before starting to eat.
“That and everyone loves Cahill Lumber, and it seemed like the perfect fit, and the biggest factor of all was that the girls would have someone besides me to love and care for them.”
“But then?” Mal prodded, taking a sip of the mimosa he’d made for himself.
Emery’s dark eyes flicked to me. “Then Brann walked in the door, and marrying Lydia instead of seeing where instant attraction and natural chemistry went seemed really stupid.”
“Aww,” Jules cooed, her eyes filling.
“He’s talking about lust ya know,” Mal informed her, rolling his eyes.
“Not anymore,” she whispered and grabbed hold of my hand.
We were all quiet, enjoying Mal’s amazing food, the fresh fruit as well, and, of course, the mimosas and coffee.
“So you called Anne?” Mal asked Emery.
“I did, yes. Last week.”
“What’d she say?” I inquired, because it was my whole life’s happiness he was talking about.
“She said it was about damn time I pulled my head out of my ass, because allowing the sham of a marriage to progress any further when I clearly had feelings for my nanny was the epitome—and this is a direct quote now—of stupidity.”
I grinned at him. “She thought you had feelings for me?”
“She didn’t think; she knew.”
And it hit me, then, all at once, so I took a breath and drained the mimosa in three gulps before reaching for Jules’ and drinking hers as well.
“Shit,” Emery groaned under his breath before getting up fast and coming around the table to crouch down beside me.
I wouldn’t run. I didn’t do that. But it hurt to know that even though he’d had an option, even when he knew he had feelings for me, and that his girls did too, he’d still allowed plans for the wedding to move forward.
“I told you it was unforgivable,” he said, his hand sliding over my cheek, turning my head so I had to look at him, into his eyes. “I told you I’d been a coward.”
Yes, he had told me. And yes, he had been a coward.
“I was afraid that if you didn’t want me too, then I’d be out of the deal with Cahill and have no one for my girls.”
It was very logical as well as cynical.
“But it had nothing to do with love or faith or hope, and everything to do with me being comfortable with my life, complacent and wanting a quick, easy fix.”
“Makes sense,” I said, my voice brittle, pained.
“No, it doesn’t. Anyone with half a brain knows that there are no quick fixes when it comes to love and big, reckless hearts. You showed up, fell in love, and were there, being you, the perfect thing for me, more than I deserve or would have thought to ever ask for, and still I was scared.”
“Would you have still reached for me if Anne Stratton had said there was no deal on the table?” I asked, scared of the answer.
“What? Oh, no, it’s not—there’s no deal yet. It’s all up in the air,” he explained, hands cupping my face, holding me still. “I have to see the board, with Anne, and they’ll review the proposal. Hopefully they’ll move fast on it, but they could turn her down like I did at first.”
I turned in my chair, facing him, and he made room and then went to his knees in front of me, hands on my thighs to keep his balance.
“But please don’t think that I waited to reach for you before I knew I had a plan B in place, because nothing could be further from the truth.”
I nodded, my eyes blurring as they filled with hot tears.
“I reached for you because it was the only way I could make sure that my life wouldn’t be total shit.”
“Oh, you romantic you,” I teased him, but I was so very pleased with the man who had killed me minutes before only to restart my heart with his confession.
“Whatever else happens, Brann, you’re the best thing for me, you’re the best thing for my girls, and our life together starts right now.”
I bent to kiss him, and he lifted to meet me halfway, and it was tender and claiming, and I felt it warm all the places inside that had grown cold when I thought he made a safe choice with me instead of the scary, death-defying, no-net decision it truly was.