“I don’t get the difference.”
“Because one is about you being there as my bodyguard and the other is what drew me to you, the grounding you provide, the ‘safe’, as in you can give me something I’ve never had.”
“And what is that?”
“A home, of course,” he murmured and took a quick breath to steady himself.
I couldn’t speak, too choked up, so I gestured for him instead, and he chuckled and left the bottle of wine in his seat when he climbed over the console between us and into my lap.
The hug was tight, our arms wrapped around each other, hearts beating together as he hummed softly in my ear and I shivered with the closeness I’d never felt outside of my family.
“This is all too fast,” I whispered, my brain stuck there.
“I know,” he soothed me, fingers smoothing over my beard.
“But we’ll figure out this long-distance thing, ’cause I don’t wanna lose you.”
He scoffed. “Oh no. You don’t get to pop into my life, the actual walking, talking wet dream I’ve wanted forever, and then just leave. That can’t happen.”
“What?”
He leaned back so he could see my face. “All my life I’ve longed for a big strong man who would sweep me off my feet, throw me around, hold me down in bed and screw my brains out until I begged for mercy.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
His laughter, deep and infectious, buzzed right through me. God, I was crazy about him.
“To find a man who is both tender and loving, yet can also demand get on your knees at the same time, was something I couldn’t imagine I’d ever find.”
“I seem to recall you being the guy in charge in bed, not me.”
“Only because I didn’t want it to end,” he murmured. “All I want to do is submit. You know that. I know you know that.”
And I did. I heard it in his voice, the hunger more than the demand. “I’m not some kind of Dom. You get that, right?”
“Yes, I’m aware,” he said, hands on my face, “and that’s not something I need. What’s important is like today, when I asked for it rough, you trusted that I was telling you the truth. You didn’t second-guess me. When I said I needed you to pound me into the mattress—you did.”
I felt my cock twitch with him talking about it. The memory of us together was seared into my brain.
“But afterward, when we were lying there together, snuggled up, I needed that just as badly. All of it, hot Shaw and snuggle-bunny Shaw, both are perfect for me.”
A moment passed as his words sank in. “I’m sorry, snuggle what?”
His laughter really was the best sound ever.
The reason we had to park so far away was because there were cars lining the street on both sides.
“This is not good,” I told Benji.
He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“It’s all fun and games until you’re overwhelmed by my loud, obnoxious family and don’t want anything to do with me.”
“My family—me, my father, mother, and brother—hardly ever spoke to one another. We were quiet, reserved, and proper,” he informed me. “I’m up for loud and obnoxious.”
“Oh, you say that now,” I sighed, wishing I’d never answered the phone.
Of course, if I hadn’t picked up, eventually Tiernan would have driven over to my house, used his key, and then found Benji and me in the sack. He would have woken us up and then sat his ass on the end of the bed and chatted with us because that was the level of asshole he was.
“Everything’s going to be great,” Benji promised.
I hoped he wouldn’t insist we fly back to Oregon when my family drove him nuts and instead would merely demand that I take him back to my house.
God.
When we reached the gate in front of the house, a brick English Tudor style, I hesitated.
“Oh, Shaw, what a beautiful house.” Benji said in awe. “And it’s huge.”
What looked big from the outside, really was not. There were seven bedrooms and three bathrooms, and between the kitchen and pantry, living room, basement and attic, my father’s office, the dining room and laundry, it was still only around forty-two hundred square feet. Everything inside was small, all the rooms chopped up, because in 1939, no one had heard of an open-concept anything.
“This is your last chance to make a run for it,” I offered.
“I know very well you love your family,” he declared, “so stop trying to act like this is some burden. If they don’t like me, you can’t either, so I’m hoping to make a really good impression.”
I shook my head. “That’s not gonna be a problem. Everybody loves you.”
“As long as you do, we’re good,” he stated flatly, opening the gate that I hadn’t touched and beginning up the cement path to the front door.