He looked over at me, and I knew he was looking for a lifeline, but I also knew that it was time for him to swim alone. If I always stepped in between him and the world, he’d never learn to find his own ports when the waves got high.
“Maybe when you’re in LA you can invite some of your friends up,” I suggested.
“Yeah,” he agreed, quieter, more restrained than he’d been the night before.
I knew it would be hard to explain to a lot of them that there were no drugs or alcohol allowed in his home. It would be interesting to see how he fared with the temptations out in the real world now that his body was clean and he didn’t crave what he’d been forced to give up.
“What’re you doing?” Nick asked his stylist, Phaeton Dove, who was standing close, studying me with his magenta-lined eyes.
“I’m deciding what I want him to wear to the after-party,” he apprised Nick. “I can call ahead and get him a tuxedo, but I need to take his measurements.”
“I’m not going,” I told Phaeton, and I wondered if he knew that his parents named him after a carriage. I didn’t want to ask in case it was a sore spot.
“What?” Nick asked, sounding surprised and almost angry.
“You’ll have Isai there to protect you, and Brent for support and to be your runner, of course. He is supposed to be your assistant, after all.”
Nick got up from the chair and walked over, stepping in close to me. “What’s going on?” He was staring, not scowling, not quite, but it was a close thing.
“I’m rewarding you for all the great strides you’ve made,” I answered, lifting my hand to take hold of his shoulder but thinking better of it and letting it drop back to my side.
“Rewarding me?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling at him. “Me not going, that’s my gift to you.”
“But that’s––”
“I have faith in you,” I interrupted, hoping he heard how proud I was of the changes he’d made in his life, from getting clean to eating right. I felt as though, suddenly, we had a new understanding of one another. I could see he was trying; he could see that I was there to help. “And I hope you don’t think that sounds like I’m being sentimental or overdramatic.”
“No,” he whispered, his gaze holding mine. “I know how you meant it.”
He did? Holy shit. I couldn’t help smiling at him, and I heard his breath catch. “I’m glad.”
“But I’m not sure you staying home is a good idea.”
“What?” I teased him. “We both know you don’t want an old man cramping your style.”
“I—we should talk about a lot of the things I’ve––”
“No, it’s true,” I soothed him, unable to stop the second time, reaching out to cup his chin and use my thumb to wipe some excess powder off his cheek. “You are young, but not a kid. I feel like we called a truce last night, and I’d like to keep it going.”
“Me…too,” he said haltingly, gaze unwavering on mine.
“I don’t know that we can be friends, but I really do so wanna help you,” I rumbled out.
“Yes. I know,” he agreed hoarsely. “But––”
“So yeah, Brent can go in my place, and you’ll be more at ease, more yourself. It won’t feel like your jailer is your wingman,” I said, waggling my eyebrows playfully.
“Yeah,” he rasped, his voice going thready for a moment.
“Will you be gone overnight?”
“No,” Nick stressed, stepping in close, taking a breath. “We’ll be back later.”
“He will not,” Cissy chimed in. “The parties aren’t even in full swing until midnight, so don’t wait up for him.”
“Okay, then.”
“If he’s back before Monday afternoon, I’ll be––”
“I might not stay for everything,” Nick told me. “So make sure the gate can still be opened if I get back late.”
“Don’t hurry back, all right? Really. I mean it. I want you to have fun,” I said adamantly, and then leaned in, whispering, “I do trust you.”
“Yeah, I know you do, but––”
“You have great lines,” Phaeton told me, tipping his head sideways. “You should come down to LA with him anyway. You can be my date. I bet I could get you some print work. What do you think, Cis?”
“Without question,” she agreed. “Why don’t you model now?”
“You’re very kind,” I told her. “But while you guys are all gone for a couple of days, I’m gonna camp out here.”
“But not by yourself,” Phaeton said, lifting one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows. “Am I right, Daddy, or am I right?”
“You are very right,” I assured him with a grin, because yes, enough was enough. Months after the last time with Brann, and just a couple days shy of three more here in California, I was done flirting. Since I couldn’t have what I really wanted, I would take the next best thing, which meant I was ready to pound the next person who asked, right through the floor. I was thinking it would be Zach, as he was due back soon, but this weekend it was whoever crossed my path. Even Danny. I could put him over the kitchen table and get enough of what I needed to be sated, and he would be thrilled. And I wasn’t being conceited. He’d confessed it to me on several occasions.