“Nick, sweetheart,” she soothed him. “We all learn these different coping strategies so we don’t have to do the hard work and face what needs changing so we can live our best life.”
He kept his gaze leveled on her, listening.
“Don’t you think it’s time that you faced the past so you can move forward and make your future ghost-free, as it were?”
“Perhaps.”
“I have an excellent person for you to meet. She’s right here in Sedona, and you and I could go tomorrow and speak to her if you want.”
He stared at her, and she waited patiently for his answer, just like she did for everyone. I’d never seen her rush anyone in my whole life.
“And who is she?”
“Well, she’s a board-certified psychiatrist, but she utilizes a holistic approach and will absolutely do what she can for you, naturally and organically. I don’t see her in her capacity as a psychiatrist but in her role as a healer, meaning that we do a lot of talking, along with Reiki healing.”
“I’m not broken,” he told her. “I’ve been dealing with this for––”
“Of course you’re not broken.” She was adamant, and he was taken aback, judging from the look on his face. “You’ve been horrifically betrayed by the one person who was supposed to love and cherish you. It’s no wonder you don’t trust anyone, and it makes perfect sense that you’ve been dulling the edges of your memories with whatever you could get your hands on. If I were you, I’d be in and out of rehab as well.”
“I’m not some textbook case of––”
“Nick, love,” she replied, her voice so kind, steeped in acceptance, that it was impossible to miss. “You have been so very, very strong,” she whispered, smiling at him through the tears now welling in her eyes. “But it’s time to try something new, don’t you think?”
He stared at her, his own eyes swimming, and then turned to me.
“Jesus, kid, it’s all gonna be so much better from right now. I swear to God.”
His eyes didn’t leave me.
“I hope you know I only wanted to help by going after Evans.”
Quick nodding from him.
“I won’t let anything, or anyone, hurt you ever again,” I choked out. “Even me. I won’t hurt you either, I swear. Just gimme one more chance, and I promise I will make sure you have a clear path from here on out.”
“How can you make that vow?”
“It’s what I was hired to do,” I said, exhaling deeply, finally getting it, understanding why Jared insisted we leave things better than we found them. “Shit.”
And in the midst of the horror, he laughed. “You’re just so eloquent.”
“I’m tired as hell,” I groused at him. “Now promise you forgive me for blowing up your whole life.”
“You took it into your hands, you made decisions without asking me or telling me,” he answered. “But I feel like you’ve been doing that since we met, right?”
“Yeah, well,” I agreed, my eyes leaking again, “I’m a fixer, for fuck’s sake.”
“Do I look fixed to you?” he baited me.
“Not yet,” I murmured. “But you will be.”
“I know, Loc. I think I can actually see it from where I am right this second.”
“That’s great and all, but you didn’t answer the goddamn question,” I scolded him. “Do you forgive me?”
“Yes, Locryn Barnes,” he apprised me, his voice cracking on a sob. “You’re breaking things down to build them back up, and like I said, I can see it now.”
“And so?”
“I forgive you,” he whispered roughly.
I was so relieved I had to grab hold of the chair to keep myself steady, but a moment later, when Nick rushed across the room, lunging at me, as I was wrapped in his arms I realized I could lean on him. We could lean on each other, at least for a little while longer.
Eleven
The following week was a whirlwind.
As predicted, the news hit about Nick’s father, and his PR team, or more precisely, Mr. Cox’s team, went to work.
Nick flew to New York to speak to Anderson Cooper about his abusive childhood and his road to recovery.
He spoke to a reporter from BBC One, Katherine Vine, who came and visited him at my mother’s house and enjoyed sitting on the patio as much as he did. Her story covered the scandal with his father’s horse farm.
Dr. Davida Saxon, my mother’s therapist, and now Nick’s, was thrilled with all the talking he did about what happened to him. Facing it all, she told him, was the hard part; the rest, understanding the mental and emotional fallout, was the part that would take work. He had no problem doing that, and they made plans to Skype once he returned home, and he’d fly out at least once a month to check in, in person.
He made statements on Twitter, thanked everyone for being in his corner, and received a flood of support from peers and fans alike. The outpouring of concern and acceptance moved the record executives to give him a yearlong extension on his record contract. No one wanted to be accused of making demands on Nick Madison, not with what he was going through. It all made for great press for him. Mr. Cox was thrilled with both me and Torus, and Jared called to give me that news the following Tuesday.