That was my Daphne, all right. She had such strength and determination. So far, these entries were nothing to be concerned over.
I was tired after dealing with Jonathan. Should I call it a night?
No. I kept reading.
Next entry:
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one here. I don’t have a roommate, and the other people I see around are only blurs to me. No one talks to anyone else. My therapist says I’ll have group therapy eventually, but not yet. Today I asked her why I was here. She told me I needed help dealing with some stuff. What stuff? I asked. She said I’d been through an ordeal. What ordeal? If I’d been through an ordeal, wouldn’t I know what she’s talking about? She changed the subject and asked me some questions about school and about Sage. I wonder where Sage is. When Mom and Dad come to visit this weekend, I’ll ask them.
Next entry:
8:00 a.m. Thursday
* * *
I’m going to start writing the day and time down because I swear I just wrote in this journal a minute ago. But it must have been yesterday, because the journal was in my drawer, and I just ate my breakfast. Still, it seems like I just put the journal away. What else happened yesterday? Usually I see my therapist, but I can’t remember seeing her. I can’t remember what I had for lunch or dinner. Maybe I should start writing that down too.
Next entry:
8:21 a.m. Friday
* * *
Yesterday I met another patient. She was so sad. She didn’t speak, just sat in a chair in the patient lounge looking sad. I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t seem to know I was there. I asked a nurse about her, but she didn’t reply. I guess I’m not allowed to know about the other patients. The nurse told me to go back to my room because I was talking nonsense. How is talking about another patient nonsense? This place is the worst. I want to go home so badly. I have no friends here. It’s just me, all alone.
I closed my eyes for a moment. Talking nonsense. What nurse would say that to a patient? Unless the patient was another manifestation of Daphne herself. Was this the beginning of her break with reality? Of splitting into alternate versions of herself?
I continued reading.
8:15 a.m. Saturday Sunday
* * *
I was almost sure today was Saturday, but when the nurse came in to bring breakfast, she corrected me. Except I wrote in the journal yesterday morning, and it clearly states above that it was Friday. My parents were supposed to come on Saturday, but they never came. Or if they did, I don’t remember. This is scaring me. Why don’t I remember a whole day?
I closed the journal. I could feel the anxiety in Daphne as I read the entry. It almost jumped off the page. She must have been so scared. My poor baby. I opened the notebook once more.
8:00 a.m. Monday
* * *
Some guy left a newspaper outside my door this morning. It was from a few weeks ago. I remember seeing him folding up newspapers in the lounge yesterday. I didn’t see the sad girl. I never see more than one person at a time in the lounge. Everyone else is blurry. That seems strange. Maybe I should get my eyes checked. My mom wears contact lenses. Maybe my vision is deteriorating. I’ll ask one of the nurses.
I closed the notebook.
It was all right there in black and white. The beginning of Daphne’s descent into different identities. Had Jonathan truly never read this? I was almost scared to go on. Not to mention the fact that this was a serious violation of Daphne’s privacy.
But I had to. Privacy or not, I had to know everything if I was going to help her. This was for Daphne. For Jonah. I had to know what I was potentially going to have to deal with if Dr. Pelletier was right and she might dissociate again.
I reopened the journal.
10:30 a.m. Tuesday
Hmm. Most of her entries were timed around eight a.m. Why was this one so much later?
Sage came to see me yesterday. At least I think it was Sage. She was blurry. Why is everything so blurry? I keep forgetting to ask one of the nurses to get my eyes checked.
Sage? None of Daphne’s entries had an actual date, just the time and the day of the week. When had Sage died? Sometime after she got out of the hospital for her injuries from the attack. She was most likely already gone when this entry was written, as Daphne had been in the main hospital after the attack as well. I’d look into that. I could easily find Sage’s obituary.
I glanced back down to finish reading the entry—