“To be honest,” I said, “I’m a little worried about him.”
“I am too.”
“He seems to take on the weight of the world.” Another lie. He’d pretty much given Daphne over to me. She was no longer a weight on his shoulders.
“He’s worried about Mom.”
“And probably Larry.”
That got her attention. “Larry? What’s wrong with Larry? He’s in law school, and he just got engaged.”
“That’s what I told your dad.”
“What?”
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
My observant wife was all over that little blunder.
“When exactly did you tell him that? I don’t remember it. Unless…” She paused a few seconds. “Unless…no. No. I can’t be losing time again.”
Fuck.
My wife had just given me the ammunition I needed to make her believe Jonathan and I had spoken about Larry, and she didn’t remember it.
But I couldn’t do that to her. Absolutely not.
“I don’t think so, baby. You probably just tuned us out. It’s easy to do. I bore myself all the time.”
Brad Steel, you’re a fucking prick.
“No.” She shook her head adamantly. “Absolutely not. I listen very carefully, Brad. If I missed something in the conversation, that means I blanked out. Lost time.”
“Now don’t you worry. No one can be on all the time. You probably heard the baby gurgle or something.”
I’m going to hell. I’m really going to hell.
She perked up at the last comment though.
“Maybe. I do try to keep an eye and an ear on Jonah at all times.”
“See? That’s all it is. You hardly missed anything vital. I told your dad that Larry’s fine.”
“Weird that he’s even concerned. He was never really part of Larry’s life. Not that I knew of, anyway. I don’t even know him. You know my brother better than I do.”
“Only because he and I happened to go to the same high school.”
“A private high school. I went to public high school. I never really thought about it, but why do you suppose Larry got to go to private school and I didn’t?”
“His mother probably paid for it.”
“Maybe. Something doesn’t sound right, though. I never even knew Larry went to private high school until I found out you and he went to the same one.”
“You’re not envious, are you?”
“Not really. I got a decent education. I got a scholarship.” Her voice sounded wistful.
The scholarship. My smart wife should be in college right now. Not married with a baby.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said.
“Do you?”
“I’m proud of my scholarship, but I wouldn’t trade what I have now for anything. I love you and I love Jonah.”
I smiled. “We both love you too, baby.”
Sometimes Daphne read my mind much too easily. What would happen if she could truly read my mind? Truly find out everything I was keeping from her?
I had to get better at this.
This was my life now. Time to get used to it. Time to harden myself against the emotion that threatened to derail everything.
My life was lies and omissions. Secrets and mysteries. All born from a fierce devotion to protect my wife and child.
From anything and everything.
Even from her own father.
Chapter Sixteen
Daphne
“How have you been, Daphne?” Dr. Pelletier asked.
“Fine.”
“Good to hear. How is the baby?”
“He’s wonderful. Thriving. He’s getting so big.”
“And your husband?”
“He’s…good.”
“You hesitated a minute. Is everything okay between you two?”
“Yes. He’s wonderful. It’s just…I think I lost some time recently.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Brad says it’s nothing. I probably just tuned out the conversation.”
“All right. Let’s back up. Tell me.”
I relayed the story.
“I see,” he said.
“It makes sense, right? They weren’t talking about anything vital. Still, it doesn’t seem right. Both Brad and my dad seemed off.”
“What do you mean by off?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know what I mean. I just know. I know my father and I know my husband, and something was off between them.”
“So it wasn’t so much that either of them were off. It was more that whatever relationship they have seemed off.”
“Yes! Exactly. I don’t know why I couldn’t put it in those words.”
“It’s my business. Tell me, then. Why is it so difficult for you to believe you might have just tuned out part of the conversation?”
“Because I’m very careful. You know that. I lost so much time during my junior year that I’m overly observant. I take note of everything, and when I can’t recall something, I get frightened.”
“It’s okay not to pay attention to something mundane.”
“But there’s nothing mundane about my husband and my father. They’re the two most important men in my life. I pay attention to them.”
“This was just basic dinner conversation.”
“I know. And yes, I was keeping one ear on the baby in the other room.”
“So it makes perfect sense that you—”
“That’s just it, Doctor. It doesn’t make perfect sense. I know myself. I make it a point to remember everything.”
“No one can remember everything, Daphne.”
“I know. But…”
“I don’t think this is anything to worry about. You probably just zoned out a little. Everyone does.”