“She knew about the rape at the time it happened. She knew about someone named Sage, who killed herself. She knew about a journal she kept long ago. She destroyed it.”
So that was why her journal had disappeared all those years ago.
I shook my head, my eyes tearing up. “I kept all of that from her. Or I thought I did.”
“Apparently she overheard you talking to her father once. That’s what the notes seem to indicate. There was even a note inside that mentioned Ryan being Wendy’s child.”
Had Daphne dissociated during Wendy’s pregnancy? How had I not known? “God. My poor sweet Daphne.”
“She loves you,” Joe said. “In spite of all this shit, she still fucking loves you.”
“I love her.” I closed my eyes, picturing sweet Daphne Wade on the afternoon I first met her so long ago at a campus keg party. “I have always loved her.”
Jonah didn’t speak for another moment. Then, “She doesn’t have a lot of time.”
“What do you mean?”
“After she opened the stuffed animal and pulled out all the old notes, she lost consciousness.”
I rubbed my forehead. “God. What happened?”
“She suffered a massive stroke, and now she’s in a coma. The doctors have asked if we’re willing to withdraw life support.”
My heart thudded almost painfully in my chest. Was this what a heart felt like when it broke? “No. I have her durable power of attorney. Absolutely not.”
“Dad, what kind of life does she have? She was keeping a secret, and now it’s out. She knew. She always knew, somewhere inside her mind, and now she’s let it out. Please. Let her be at peace.”
“Fuck,” I said.
“I have the paperwork with me. Our attorneys drew it up. You can transfer the durable power of attorney to me.”
I said nothing.
“Marj, Tal, and I have all agreed. This is what’s best for Mom.”
“Ryan?”
“He didn’t feel he had the right to an opinion. We told him he did, but he was adamant.”
I disagreed. Ryan did have the right to an opinion.
Sadly, the one who did not was me.
I signed the paper.
A few days later, when Daphne drifted into peace, I felt her leave. My bright yellow flower had dimmed, leaving me in darkness. She took my heart with her. My soul.
That was how connected we always were. I actually felt her spirit leave the earth.
I was now nothing but an empty shell, almost as if I’d been given a chance to begin again.
Except that I couldn’t.
That night, lying on my cot, as I fell into sleep, she came to me.
A vision in light—that beautiful eighteen-year-old girl I fell in love with. That woman I loved with my whole heart. The woman I’d tried to protect.
The woman I’d failed in so many ways.
Yet in her ultimate goodness, she’d continued to love me.
My children were whole. My children were happy.
Despite my mistakes, they’d learned to survive. To thrive.
They didn’t need me.
Not anymore.
So when my beautiful Daphne held out her hand—offered me her love, her forgiveness, and the salvation I craved—the decision was an easy one.
I floated with her into the light.