The next question goes to Bainbridge and the following question to Manager Diamond. I sit there, wondering why the hell I’m here. I can’t provide an eloquent answer and honestly, all the cameras make me slightly nervous.
“Ethan, are you looking forward to the All-Star break?”
“Yes,” I say into the microphone. “It’s a good time for us to regroup and have a little fun.”
Diamond excuses Bainbridge and me from the press conference while he stays to finish up. Surely, they’re going to attack him more than they will us. They know if they’re not nice, we’ll stop speaking. Diamond, on the other hand, doesn’t have a choice. It’s his job, whether he likes it or not.
The temperament in the clubhouse is somber. Everyone is quiet and a few of the guys are already gone. I don’t blame them for bailing after the game. It’s what I wanted to do. No one wants to hang out right now because we’re all feeling the same. We’re all tired of getting so close, only to lose.
I throw my shit into my locker and kick my stool across the room, lucky that only a few of my teammates are still here and I didn’t hit anyone with it.
“You’re not the only one who’s pissed,” Jasper Jacobson, our catcher, says as he starts getting dressed. “We’re on the same team here, Davenport. Sure, you brought in the runs, but it’s a fucking team effort.”
He’s slamming shit around and muttering under his breath. I realize in this moment that I need to keep my mouth shut because bringing up his stats probably wouldn’t be a good idea right now. One of the runs tonight was on a pass ball that he let go through his legs and I felt that the effort put in on his part was lacking.
Unfortunately, he sees me smirk and is now in my face.
“You have a problem, rookie?” he spits out, going chest to chest with me.
“I’m not a rookie,” I say, stepping forward, showing him that I’m not going to back down from him or anyone else who wants a piece of me.
“You’re a cocky son of a bitch, that’s what you are. You think your shit don’t stink, but let me tell you something sophomore, punks like you are a dime a dozen.”
I’m not even sure what his problem is. I kicked my stool across an empty room and it landed nowhere near him. He plays a different position, so it’s not like he’s backing me up. My batting average is better than his and maybe that’s why he’s jealous. He could want to be in the third spot in the rotation and if that’s the case, he needs to speak to Diamond about that.
“If we’re a dime a dozen, you’d think we’d be all over the place. I don’t know what your problem is, Jacobson, but it’s not me.”
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Diamond says, as he walks in.
“Just talking, Skip,” Jacobson says, waiting for Diamond to walk into his office. Once the door slams shut, his attention is back on me.
“You’re my fucking problem.” He puffs his chest out before storming away.
“What was that about?” Bainbridge asks after coming out of the bathroom.
I shake my head and grab my clothes. At this point, I’ll change when I get home. I need to go pick up Daisy. I need Daisy.
“I kicked my stool across the floor and he jumped on my shit.”
“I know you’re frustrated and you expect us to win, but sometimes teams have to take some lumps. We’re going to bounce back. We’ll dominate. We’ll be on top again.” Bainbridge squeezes my shoulder as he passes by. I hear a faint knock on Diamond’s door and wonder if Bainbridge will be around for when we bounce back.
Aside from being well under five hundred, I’m doing remarkably well. The batting title is within my reach but I know that unless we make the post season, I’ll be an afterthought. At this point, we’re not even close to making the post season because the teams from Texas are fucking killing everyone right now. We can’t even put together a winning streak, but we can sure as hell lose multiple games in a row.
The only bright spot right now is Daisy, who I wish was living at my house. Even though I say that, I don’t really want her to move in, at least not yet. It’s far too soon to take a giant step like that. What sucks is having her in my arms, almost falling asleep, only to have to take her home to relieve the night nurse. I’ve offered to pay for a full-time live in nurse but she balked at the idea, saying her grandfather is her problem, not mine. She doesn’t understand that I want more time with her. My schedule really limits our quality time together. I suppose in the long run it doesn’t really matter since she’s still taking classes - one more semester and then she’ll graduate.
As typical with New England weather, one day we woke up and it was already freaking ninety out. This summer has been hotter than last year; I’m not complaining, just unprepared for the sweltering heat. I long for the days of hitting the beach or lake with my buddies to cool off after class.
Today, Daisy is skipping school and we’re going to the cabin that Steve Bainbridge owns. He says it’s nothing special, but does have a small beach if we want to go swimming. I don’t care if it means she can’t see me for two days in a row because of homework. I don’t have to work and I want to spend the day with her. She said I have to help her study, but since she’s not a sex-ed major, I doubt I’ll be very useful.
Right now, I’m counting the hot summer days until the All-Star break. I’m flying her and her grandfather to Cincinnati. It wasn’t easy telling her, but there isn’t anything she can do about it. Her grandpa loves baseball, and this is probably his only opportunity to see a game such as this. She knows she can’t win this battle, as I’ll ask John if he wants to go and use it against her.
The All-Star break should be a time to rest and recuperate, but I’m playing so I’ll be part of the festivities the entire week. My parents will be there, along with my sister and my niece, and they’ll be meeting Daisy and John for the first time. If I didn’t feel strongly for her, the introductions wouldn’t be happening. This is a big step for me and one I’m not taking lightly.
I’m going all out for this trip to the lake. I ordered a picnic basket a few weeks ago in preparation for today and it’s all packed with a blanket sitting on top. I have the wine chilled and food ready to go. Daisy should be waiting for me, I just need to grab everything and we’ll be on our way.
So why am I stalling?
My palms are sweating and my heart is racing. I’m not sick so the only thing that I can attribute this to is that I want to tell Daisy that I love her. I don’t even need her to say it back, but I need her to know how I feel and I have a feeling that today needs to be the most romantic date that we’ve ever had.