“When you arrived in Boston my professor thought it would be a good idea for someone in class to cover you. Sort of like a fan blog about you, but I had the idea to do the whole team. He gave the job to me because I have season tickets, or at least I did. He offered to pay me, plus I could do whatever I wanted with ad space. I needed the money so I took the job thinking I’d never meet you or any of the other guys.
“At first, you made it easy. The stupid things you were doing were tabloid fodder and I was having so much fun. Then you’d tweet me and I could tell you were getting pissed so I started writing about the other guys as well. Tips were coming in like crazy. I’d get tweets about who was in the bar hooking up, who’s cheating, what wife just spent an obscene amount at the store… the more I posted, the more hits I received which meant more ad traffic and that meant more money in my account and better food on our table.
“The first night we had dinner, someone in the restaurant tweeted me about you being on a date. I thought for sure you figured it out by the time I sat down, but you never said anything except for me to call your agent. Believe me, I have…he’s not very nice.”
I have to laugh at her last statement because it’s true: He’s a dick.
“The day you surprised me in the library I was uploading a new post. And when we fought, I saw it as an opportunity to escape what was coming.”
“What was that?” I ask.
“Heartache.”
She broke my heart.
“But I couldn’t stay away and it wasn’t because of some story, but because I was… still am… in love with you. I never used you, Ethan. I didn’t have to. There were enough people surrounding all of you that were willing to give up a story. Bainbridge’s wife is one of them. She emails me on a daily basis. It’s sad, really.” Her voice trails off and I start to question why I’m not angry with her now that she’s coming clean. This is the story I’ve been waiting for and I should be yelling, but I’m not.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you. That is my biggest regret. After everything you’ve done and were doing for my grandpa… there were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn’t find the words.”
“That night in the car, when you said you forgot to call a night nurse, what was that about?”
“I had forgotten to cancel the post and freaked out. You would’ve wondered about all the notifications or asked me why I’m fiddling with my phone so much. I couldn’t turn my phone off because my grandpa might have called.”
I would’ve taken her phone away if she were messing with it while we were together. Our time was valuable and limited. The last thing we needed was interruptions.
“How did you know I went to Sarah’s in Seattle? You never posted about it.”
“Steve’s wife. She tells me everything.”
And Steve heard it in the clubhouse and told his wife? I’m not buying it.
“I don’t think Bainbridge would’ve told her.”
Daisy looks at me. “He didn’t. Jacobson did.”
“Interesting.”
“Honestly, Ethan, sometimes you have these blinders on. You need to take them off and look around. There’s a lot of shit going down in your clubhouse.”
I know she’s right, but sometimes you want to keep the blinders on so you don’t lose who you are, or start thinking about the shit your teammates are doing. Sometimes it’s better not to know.
“There are things I tweeted to you as a blogger, about you as the person I fell in love with. I’m trying to wrap my head around that. There are days when I think it’s no big deal, but other times it freaks me the fuck out.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t.”
I sigh and lean forward, looking at her from an angle.
“Where do we go from here, Daisy? What do you want?”
I know it’s an open-ended question and the answers could be endless. I have no doubt she’d ask for more time with her parents and grandparents if she could, or even world peace at this point. I hope she knows I’m asking about us and giving her the choice.
“What I want is you, if you’re willing to have me, flaws and all. Where we go? I don’t know, but I’m flexible.”
We’re not meant to be perfect in this world and yes I know she fucked up, but under her circumstances, I get it. I may have gone about things differently, but I understand why she did what she did.
“It’s what I want too,” I tell her, as I pull her into a kiss, loving the feel of her lips against mine once again. She melts into me and pushes her fingers through my hair. I tug gently at her lip before our tongues meet and fireworks go off around us. I pull away and watch the night sky light up with red, blue and white lights.
“I think someone is helping us celebrate.”