Saylor heads for the stairs and checks out the third bedroom. After I’ve given her the grand tour, including a stop in the bedroom I’m hoping to share with her, I bring her back into the living room.
“I should’ve done this earlier, but sometimes words are more important.” I pull the box out of the bag and drop to one knee. “Be unconvent
ional with me, Saylor.”
Thirty-Two
Saylor
Now that I’ve said yes, I’m having second thoughts. I suppose every woman at some point in her life dreams of that spur-of-the-moment proposal when the man you’ve been pining for comes and sweeps you off your feet, or in my case, storms in to try to save the day.
Any woman would be lucky to have someone like Travis Kidd getting down on his knee to propose, but I don’t feel that way. I feel confused, lost, and more alone now than I did this morning. I can’t explain it, but something in my heart tells me that this is wrong—that marrying Travis isn’t going to fix anything but make everything worse.
Yet Travis says he’s going to fix things. When he said those words to me this morning, I had no idea what to expect. And now here I am, standing in his house with the most beautiful engagement ring on my finger from this man who has offered me financial security if I marry him. His bank account will be at my disposal to fight against Elijah. That in and of itself should be enough, except I’m in this situation because of him. If only he would’ve listened to me each time I told him I couldn’t be with him, Elijah wouldn’t be taking me to task over my parenting skills.
I don’t think Travis realizes what he’s getting into. His lifestyle is drastically different from mine. I tried to explain to him earlier that I don’t want a sham of a marriage where my known playboy of a husband is out gallivanting, picking up random women and making headlines with his philandering ways.
My life is Lucy. Not the parties and late nights that he’s used to. I don’t know if his word is enough to make me go through with this. I don’t know if the feelings I have for him, which are no doubt love, are worth the heartache that I’m going to feel later.
Travis moves about his house with more pep in his step than I’ve seen in him recently. The sullen demeanor is gone, and the man that I’ve been accustomed to working with is back. Honestly, it’s a nice sight to see, because he has one of the most contagious smiles I’ve ever come across in years.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, catching me off guard. I shake my head, because there is absolutely nothing funny about what I’ve been thinking. My thumb rolls over the underside of my ring finger. The ring is a half size too big, but Travis said he didn’t want to wait three weeks before giving it to me. Truthfully, I’m happy that he didn’t. I continue to rub circles around the bottom of my ring. My ring. The one he picked out after he asked me to leave the store. Travis may have done things backward with a proposal, but he did this right.
“Are you okay?” Travis sits down next to me, keeping a healthy distance between us. Even though he’s kissed me a few times since he asked me to marry him, I’m trying not to read into anything. I know we’re attracted to each other, and we’ve been together, but to actually wrap my head around being with him every day is a bit much to handle. Not because I don’t like him—because I do—but because he’s Travis Kidd, and I’m me. And his legion of female fans are going to make it very well known that he could’ve done so much better.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
He blanches at my statement, and I look at him squarely.
“Look, I may be a novice at this marriage thing, but I do know that when a woman says she’s fine, something is wrong.”
“How would you know such a thing?” From the years working with him, I know that he’s never had a relationship last longer than a week, and honestly, I can’t even imagine Travis being the type to care whether his current flavor is okay.
“Cooper. When he took me to Lamaze class, the teacher really drove the proverbial nail home that ‘fine’ doesn’t actually mean fine.”
“Sounds like some teacher.”
He shrugs and picks up my hand, admiring the ring that is now there. “Are you upset about something?”
I shrug also.
“Talk to me, Saylor. I can’t fix it or make anything better if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I’m confused, nervous, and telling myself that everything is going to be okay.”
“It will be,” he says as he turns to face me.
“For you, yes. But for me…” I shake my head. “Coming clean means jail time and a long legal battle.”
“Saylor, I know you’re scared, and honestly I am, too. Your testimony may not be enough, but I’m hoping it’s enough to cast doubt and this case goes away. As for your probation violation, Irvin will take care of that. We can meet with your officer and explain why you were there. I saw you; you didn’t take a drink, and I can vouch for you. I’ve drunk in front of you, and you haven’t touched any liquor. It was a lapse in judgment over a stressful situation. All that matters is that you didn’t drink. As for Elijah…” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I love that little girl, so I’m willing to fight for her. At best, we come out with full custody, and he receives visitation. It’ll be a cold day in hell before she goes to live with him. Irvin will have someone there for us.”
“Elijah…he has friends. He’s already threatened to make sure you go to jail.”
If those words faze Travis, he doesn’t let it show. “I wouldn’t be the first innocent man to go to jail.”
“Then what’s the point of getting married?” I demand as I sit up and face him. If he’s ready to live a life behind bars, why are we going through with this?
“It’s the least I can do for fucking things up, Saylor.”