“She’s in pain,” I answer for her because she’s currently gritting her teeth.
“That’s to be expected. When did the contractions start?”
“She had a few minor ones on the way over, but she only mentioned pain as soon as she got into the bed.”
“Let’s take a look.” The nurse helps Ainsley put her legs in the stirrups and disappears between her legs. When Ainsley cries out, I want to punch the nurse in the face for hurting her.
Without saying anything, the nurse stands, removes her gloves, and presses a button on the wall. Two more nurses come in and start hooking Ainsley up to various machines, pushing me out of the way.
“What’s going on?”
“Your wife is about to deliver.”
“Hold up,” I say, putting my hands up. “The Lamaze chick told us that first time pregnancies could take hours.”
“Everyone is different, Mr. Bailey.”
Ainsley reaches for my hand, and I go to her, placing my head on her shoulder. “I hate you,” she growls.
“I know, babe. I hate me too right now.” I was prepared for her to say mean things to me. Bainbridge told me to brush them off and to just agree with her. Once the euphoria of childbirth kicks in, she’ll be telling me how much she loves me because I helped create the two most precious people in her life.
“I need drugs,” she yells out, but the nurse tells her it’s too late. She disappears between her legs again and tells Ainsley to push. I remember from class that I need to help her sit up so she can bear down. When I asked Bainbridge what that meant, he said it’s like taking a shit.
“Sorry, sweetie, but the baby is coming now.”
“Babies,” I remind her. “She’s carrying twins.”
“Yes, Mr. Bailey,” she says, dismissing me. “You have another contraction coming, Ainsley. Let’s push through it.”
“What’s this ‘let’s’ shit, I’m the one pushing,” she says as she starts grunting. I have to agree with her on that one. I have to give the nurse kudos for not engaging Ainsley in a tit-for-tat. I’m sure she sees a lot of it with her job.
“I hear we’re about to have some babies today.” Dr. Chen walks in wearing blue scrubs and a pink hat. I find it funny that he’s color coordinating with the birth of our children. Right after him, a baby cradle on wheels is brought in.
“Has everyone forgotten that my wife is having twins?” I yell out, growing frustrated with the staff.
“No, Mr. Bailey. We try
to keep the twins together. They’ve spent all their time next to each other, so it would be unfair to separate them now.”
“Oh,” I say, hanging my head in shame. The squeezing of my hand brings my attention back to Ainsley.
“We need a big push, Ainsley,” Dr. Chen says as he takes over for the nurse.
“It’s hurts,” she screams out. “It’s burning so bad.”
“I know, but once the head is out, you’ll feel some relief. You’re almost there.”
I chance a look between her legs and about lose my shit. Not only is it the grossest thing I’ve every seen, but a man should never see what is happening to his wife’s cooter.
“Okay, the head is out.”
I look again against my better judgment and see a face with puffy cheeks and dark hair. The doctor works to clear the baby’s airway before telling Ainsley to push again.
“Holy shit.”
With another push my son is born, and he’s letting the world know that he’s arrived.
“Baby number one is a boy,” the doctor says, placing him on Ainsley’s belly. She starts crying, and I join in. The nurse hands me scissors and shows me where to cut his cord.