“I don’t know, Greg. You tell me.”
“I’m trying here.”
“Try harder,” I tell him. “Get in the car and come here on the weekends. Make arrangements to see your son. Respect his wishes and keep the new wife and daughter at home. He wants to spend time with this dad, not your new family.” I’m worked up, angry. My teeth are clenching so hard that I’m giving myself a headache.
“That’s not fair—”
“You don’t get to talk about what’s fair, Greg,” I seethe into the receiver. “You left your son without looking back. I don’t care about what you did to me and our marriage, but your son . . . you walked away from him without a second thought. He has every right to ask that you visit him and not bring your family. The longer you stay away, the worse off your relationship is going to be with him.”
There’s a long pause where Greg and I are both just breathing into the receivers. He finally clears his throat. “I’d like to see Chase. Can we meet halfway?”
&
nbsp; As much as it pains me to agree, I do, because it’ll make my son happy. “Yes, we can do that. When?”
“What’s his schedule like?”
I inhale deeply, unprepared for this end of the conversation. “Chase isn’t playing baseball, Greg. Your friend . . .” I choke on the word before finishing my thought. Greg and Brett are alike in a lot of ways, I should’ve seen that earlier. I contemplate what I should say next. If I tell my ex the truth, he won’t believe me or find some way to twist it around, and it’s just not worth it. So, I lie. “There wasn’t any room on the team, but Chase has been working out with a coach so next year things will be different.”
“Who’s the coach? Do I know him?”
“Nope,” I say, shaking my head even though he can’t see me. “Local guy who used to play in college. He’s helping out.” Just as those words come out of my mouth, the door chimes and Hawk walks in. Our office is open concept, except for Karter’s office, so he sees me right off and smiles bashfully. He’s dressed similarly to yesterday with jeans, white t-shirt, his long-sleeved flannel half-way unbuttoned, and a baseball cap. He saunters toward me, keeping the same expression on his face, and when gets to my desk, he tips his hat toward me.
“Hello, Bellamy?” Greg yells into the phone. I catch myself staring and turn away.
“Uh, what?”
“Saturday works for you, right?”
I bring my laptop to life and pull up my calendar. “Yeah, that’s fine. What time and where?” He decides we’ll meet at the mall that’s about halfway between both of us so I can shop while he spends time with Chase. The line goes dead. I hold the phone at my ear until I hear the dial tone before slamming it down onto the cradle.
“Do you need me to come back?”
For a moment, I forgot Hawk was there, and now I realize he’s seeing my mini hissy fit. Great. I take a couple of deep, calming breaths and turn back toward him. He’s sitting. When did I miss that he sat down?
“Sorry, that was my ex.”
“Ah,” he says, as if he knows everything.
“Yeah . . . ” I’m tempted to tell Hawk everything, which is really unlike me or maybe it’s exactly who I am. I’m not really sure anymore. It’s not like I spend copious amounts of time with men and last night was the first real “non-date” I’ve been on since Greg walked out on me, so I definitely lack experience. Still, I remind myself that Hawk is a stranger, regardless of the way my mind thinks, and body feels, when I’m in his presence.
“Do you want to talk about it? My mom says I’m a good listener.”
He makes me smile. It’s a good feeling. “I’m afraid the drama with my ex would probably scare . . . ” I catch myself before I say something completely stupid. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll be okay.” I straighten a few things on my desk, doing whatever I can to avoid eye contact with him. “I’m assuming you’re here about that piece of land?”
“Actually, I came in to see you.”
My eyes dart up to find Hawk leaning toward my desk. If I were bold, I’d grab him by his shirt and pull him toward me because I’d be a liar if I said I hadn’t thought about kissing him. He invaded my dreams last night and is the reason I took extra time doing my hair this morning. Karter was right in a roundabout way. I don’t have a date, but I hoped I’d see him before tonight.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” he asks. His voice is quiet, husky and tinged with desire. I try to clear away the thoughts I’m having about him and me, our limbs tangled together with a sheen of sweat covering our skin.
“You’re blushing.” He reaches across my desk and softly trails his fingers down my cheek. I want to hold his hand there, to feel the warmth of his palm pressed against my heated skin, but I’m afraid. I was rejected by the one man who vowed to love me until the end, tossed aside for a new model, and this man sitting across from me, making me feel emotions I haven’t felt in years, is leaving town. He’s not staying, no matter what I can offer him.
I push my chair back, excuse myself and rush down the hall into the bathroom. The cold water I douse myself with does nothing to curb the pooling of desire in my belly. Could I be someone who indulges in a gorgeous man just for fun? Could I keep my heart out of it?
My head rises and I look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are red, my neck flushed, and my eyes — they seem dark with determination. I don’t want to trick Hawk into anything. I just want to take him to bed. And if I’m reading his body language right, he wants that as well.
Seventeen