Finding My Forever (Beaumont 3)

“Sometimes I stay here or at our country house.”

I give her a once over and decide that she’s from money. I should’ve known. I wanted to avoid everything that was the typical LA cliché, otherwise known as ‘the rich-list’ in Los Angeles, and the first woman I talk to is just that. Chances are, daddy dearest is probably some high-powered politician.

I look back at the pool and watch the other women. They flirt with the waiters and other men passing by. No wonder my dad thinks the way he’s treated my mum is okay. He lives it on a daily basis.

“Did I say something wrong?”

I press my lips together and shake my head. “No.”

“How old are you, Jimmy?”

I try to avoid eye contact with her, but to no avail. She’s sexy and I’d be stupid to ignore her. I’m lucky she’s even talking to a bloke like me. I’m sure she has some man waiting for her once he finishes work. She adjusts the straps on her bikini, giving me an eyeful.

“I’m nineteen,” I say, moving my legs around so I can face her. I reach over and move the fabric of her top to cover her nipple. “You’re showing.”

“Oh shit, thank you.” Her hand covers mine and she holds it over her tit longer then should be normal seeing as I just met her. My fingers squeeze on their own accord. I try to move my hand, but she’s holding it there firmly.

“Um…”

“Sorry,” she says, letting go. “I think you’re really hot.”

“I think you’re fucking sexy,” I blurt out.

“Want to see my room?”

When we lived together we had vibrant art, mixed lines and warmth. Her apartment now lacks colour and life. This is what I think as I lie in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her tanorexic arm is lying across my stomach. One of her bare breasts rests on my chest. Her head is snuggled into my neck. I used to enjoy this. I used to beg for this.

But now I want to run.

I turn my head a little to look at Chelsea. Her dark blonde roots are starting to show over her bottled hair colour. If I tell her that her roots need doing, she’d go running to the hairdresser to have them taken care of. She’s superficial like that and right now I’m in that frame of mind. I know everything there is to know about her and that’s still not enough for me to stay. Yet, the moment I touched back down in Los Angeles, I called her because I knew she’d come running and now I lie here, regretting it.

This isn’t where I want to be. I’ve never been able to say no to her, but I never imagined that I’d be back in her bed. She knows how to wear me down and does it with perfect precision. I’m the way I am because she’s my first love and I haven’t even tried to love anyone since her. Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I need to put my heart on the line again to get Chelsea out of my system.

I know who can do that for me. She’s already creeping in. I just don’t know if I can be

enough for her. If I tried and she rejected me, then I’d be no better off than I am now. All I know is this isn’t where I want to be.

I could just go to her and make myself available. If she turns me down I’ll act like it’s not a big deal. Typical Jimmy Davis.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” I close my eyes the moment her lips touch my chest. I should push her away, but I won’t. I should tell her that we won’t work, but she already knows that and here she is, still willing to keep me as her dirty little secret.

“Life,” I say, not wanting to look at her. She doesn’t delve any deeper. I know she doesn’t care. She’s a good pretender, but in reality I’m just something she’s using to pass the time until the next daddy-approved boyfriend comes along.

Her mouth starts sucking on my dick and he springs to life in no time. I bite on my lower lip to stop from hissing. I don’t want her to know that I’m enjoying her attention, but I’m a fucking bloke and this shit feels fucking fabulous. I keep my hands behind my head, close my eyes and enjoy the moment. I imagine the girl I want sucking me off instead of the one that is. Her nails roam over my stomach, down my thighs and back up again. I shift, lifting my hips up to increase her speed to ease the pressure that’s building. She slows down and it’s not exactly what I had in mind. She lets go and moves. I know what she wants, but I don’t think I can bring myself to be with her anymore.

She holds my cock. My eyes spring open when I feel myself slide into her. I sit up and grab her hips. She moves to kiss me but I throw her off me.

“What the fuck, Jimmy?”

I sit up and put my feet on her wooden floor. She moves behind me and starts kissing my back.

“Stop, Chelsea.”

She does and sighs heavily. “What’s wrong?”

“You know I don’t shag without wearing protection.”

“Jimmy, baby, we’ve been together for three years. We’ve done it before, I just wanted to feel you,” she coo’s in my ear as she puts her arms around me. Her lips find my ear and tug lightly on my lobe.