Finding My Forever (Beaumont 3)

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” I swallow and take a deep breath. “Just stopping by the apartment to get some stuff before going back to Liam’s for the night.”

“Are you missing me?”

I roll my eyes and realize that I do miss him, that I need him to hold me right now because I’m shaking so bad I can’t move.

“Of course.”

“Liar,” he says. “I just wanted to call and say goodnight. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“All right.”

“I lo… tell my baby that I love her.”

“What if it’s a boy?” I ask.

“It’s not, just tell her okay?”

My heart stops for a moment. I can’t comment on what he just said because he hangs

up. I refuse to think he was going to tell me loves me. He doesn’t and likely never will. So why does he have to say something like that over the phone and not me or the baby when we’re together? When he says stuff like that I want to believe his intentions are real. I’m happy that he loves the baby, but sad that he’ll never love me. I know one thing’s for sure: I need to keep myself from falling in love with Jimmy Davis because he’s nothing but pure heartbreak waiting to happen.

I bang my phone against my head. I don’t know what possessed me to say that to Jenna. I can’t tell her that I love her. I don’t even know if I do. I do know that I wish she was here, but I’m equally thankful that she’s not. I don’t how she would’ve handled Chelsea. Christ, I don’t even know how I’m going to handle Chelsea. I look out of the window over the night sky of Los Angeles, the bright lights and sound of traffic bounce between the buildings. After being in Beaumont and spending time in Bora Bora, this concrete jungle is less than appealing. Now I know why Harrison lives on the beach.

I bend over the railing, watching the cars below when the sliding glass door opens. I’m really trying not to think about Chelsea, but she’s like a fucking flashing warning light in my face that won’t turn off. I’m so fucked. Chelsea will expect, no she’ll demand, that we get married and that isn’t going to happen. I’m happy being married to Jenna, even if it has been for just two weeks.

“Who were you talking to?” her sickly sweet voice makes my skin crawl.

“None of your business,” I reply, but that doesn’t stop her. Her hand finds my shoulder as she moves closer to me. If I don’t touch her back, it’s not cheating. That’s what I tell myself. I close my eyes and say the words that need to keep me level headed. I won’t cheat on Jenna, over and over again.

“It’s late Jimmy, I don’t want to fight, but you need to tell whoever it was that you were talking to that you’re taken.”

I move away from her touch. “I’m not yours to have, Chelsea.”

“We’re having a baby. I think that entitles me to some respect.”

I throw my hands into my hair and pull at it. I scream loudly. Why the fucking hell is this happening to me? I did the right fucking thing when I found out about Jenna, so why the hell am I being punished?

“How’d you get into my flat?”

She turns away from me and looks out over the city. “Do you want a boy or girl?”

“Hi, mum.” I’m excited to call my mum and tell her all about Jenna. I know she probably won’t understand given what she thinks about marriage, but I’m hoping that she’ll support my decision.

“Jimmy, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing my only son’s voice?”

“Ah, easy on the dramatics. I call you all the time.”

“I know I just miss you. How are you?”

“Perfect,” I say.

“Perfect? How come?”

“I got married.”

The long pause at the other end of the line is more than I bargained for.