Finding My Forever (Beaumont 3)

Or not I want to say, but he’s out of the car before I have a chance to open my mouth. I drop the visor and look in the mirror at my make-up. My lips are red and plump from his razor burn and my eyes look like I just woke up. Clearly people will know we’ve been fooling around in the car and I’d rather not leave that impression, despite my desire to screw his brains out in the backseat. I pull out my lip-gloss and apply a fresh coat and run my fingers under my eyes to get rid of the excess make-up particles.

Jimmy opens the door and holds out his hand for me. I will give him credit; he’s a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. His mother raised him proper and I can’t wait to thank her for that. We walk hand-in-hand into the club. Josie’s brought me here for lunch before, but we haven’t been here much since Liam has come home. Something about his parents being members and it’s too awkward for him.

Jimmy gives our names to the hostess who tells us to follow her. We are heading to a part of the club that is away from the restaurant. She points to a door and walks away, leaving us standing in the hallway by ourselves.

“What’s going on?” I ask. Jimmy shakes his head but opens the door anyway. We step into a dark room. I clutch at his hand, hanging on for life. This is a set-up. Liam didn’t plan this, Damien did. He’s here in this room. I can feel it. Something moves behind me and I have to bite my lip from screaming out.

We’ve just walked into our death. My other arms grips his forearm, my nails digging into his skin. If I could crawl into his body I would. I move as close as possible, hoping that this will be quick and painless.

When the lights flick on I let out a blood-curdling scream at the hoards of people yelling at me. “Surprise!”

My heart pounds a thousand beats per second as I try to catch my breath. There are tears rushing down my face as my chest heaves.

“Jenna, what’s wrong?” Josie asks as I cover my mouth to try and contain a sob.

“I thou… thought you were going to kill us.”

Josie deadpans. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think of that. We just wanted to g

ive you guys a reception since you eloped and didn’t give us a chance to have a party.”

“Okay.” I’m a blubbering fool being held up by her husband. Jimmy rubs my back as he tries to act calm, but I feel him shaking. He thought we were set-up too and it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one walking around paranoid.

“Come on, darling, let’s go get you cleaned up. You have a party to attend.” I nod and reluctantly let go of Jimmy’s hand as Josie and Katelyn lead me out of the room. They lead me down the hall and behind a closed door. Once it’s shut I let out a sob that makes my whole body shake. I’m directed to sit on the couch with both girls rubbing my back.

“What’s going on? Because I’m getting the feeling you’re bottling up some pretty deep emotions to be crying like this.”

“Nothing,” I say, wiping my tears. “Just my hormones.”

“Bullshit,” Josie and Katelyn say in unison.

“You can talk to us you know. Just because you married into the band doesn’t mean we’re not friends,” Katelyn says, stroking my hair. Josie nods.

I take a deep breath and blurt out, “I don’t want to believe Jimmy is having an affair and I know he doesn’t love me, but we took these vows and he was gone for two weeks and I’m really freaking out inside because my mind is telling me to run and file for divorce but my body is telling me to go screw his brains out in the backseat of the car.” I cover my mouth in horror and look at my two friends. “Oh God I’m so sorry. Ever since my second trimester it seems I have no filter.”

Katelyn and Josie start laughing, which honestly doesn’t make me feel any better. “Jenna,” Katelyn starts, “I don’t think Jimmy would cheat on you. At least I would hope that he’s smarter than that.”

“But he is Jimmy,” Josie adds, which makes everything Katelyn just said go out the door.

“Oh great,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air.

“No listen. At one point we’ve all thought it. I would lie awake in bed at night and imagine Liam with other women. I had visuals from the many magazines and even Sam’s face would pop-up. But he asked me to trust him and I did. Does it mean that I didn’t think about it? No, it doesn’t. Each time he went back to LA I was a wreck because I thought ‘what if he’s so lonely that he needs that painkiller?’ Those women don’t care if he’s with someone, they all want a piece of someone else’s pie.”

“I felt the same about Harrison even though I knew he hadn’t dated much and even stopped dating when he moved to Beaumont. The thoughts were there, but I know Harrison would never do something like that, nor would he allow Jimmy to do it on his watch. Trust that the guys will keep him on the right path as long as Jimmy wants to be there.”

I try to smile at Josie and Katelyn and, while their words offer some reassurance, the thoughts still linger. The door opens with a small knock. We look up to find Jimmy peeking his head in.

“Hello my lovelies, I’d like to have my wife back if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, we’re going to get her all pretty and then she’ll be out,” Josie says, standing. I smile softly at Jimmy before he finally closes the door.

“He’s not cheating,” Josie says.

“How do you know?”

She looks at me, her Cheshire Cat grin getting larger. “That boy is in love with you. I’ve never seen him look at another woman like that before.”

My heart soars with her words. She would know, she’s spent the most time with him. Maybe I need to let go and just go with the flow and take each day as it comes. If I live in fear that he’s cheating, I’ll probably drive him into another woman’s arms and I wouldn’t be able to live if I did something like that.