After we set sail, there’s gonna be storms
Just don’t lose faith in me cause I’ll keep us on course
Remember this day, it’s written in the stars
We’re on our way to forever, girl, it’s not that far
I’ve never felt like this before
I see our ship comin’ from the shore
And that horizon in your eyes
Is like tobacco sunburst
Is this gonna last, I wanna know
I gave you the key to my heart and it was hard to let it go
I’m stingy. I can admit that. While I should have the headphones on my stomach so she can hear her daddy sing to her, I’m listening to them instead. I’ve had the song on repeat for the last few hours. When he left, he told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back. Not because I don’t love him, I do, but I thought it was a knee-jerk reaction to the emotional moment we were having. This song tells me otherwise.
For a while I’ve questioned why I married Jimmy. It wasn’t impulsive even though it seemed like it at the time. It definitely wasn’t his charm, that’s what got us into this situation to begin with. I married Jimmy because I wanted to. I wanted a new chapter in my life. One that isn’t filled with fear and constantly looking over my shoulder. I never thought I’d find someone to fill that void in my life, but I have. I know getting married because you’re pregnant isn’t the smartest thing to do and we may not last, but for now I’m going to love him as long as he’ll allow me to.
My phone rings from its resting spot – on top of my ever-growing stomach. I hit answer and sigh.
“Hello,” I say, dreamily.
“Hey, Sweet Lips, how are my girls? He’s turned on the charm and he’s not even here. Damn that man.
“We’re good. Just waiting for you to call. How was the show?”
“It was great. We had a good crowd. They were really getting in
to it. I need to tell you something though.”
I can’t imagine what he’s about to say. Did he go crazy and jump off the stage only to fall onto the floor because his fans didn’t catch him?
“What?” I choke out.
Jimmy sighs. I imagine him running his hand over his perfect face. His fingers rubbing his soulful brown eyes. “Liam… I’m sorry Jenna… Liam told everyone that I’m married and having a baby.”
“What?” I cry out in relief. My heart pounds and I swear if I open my mouth wide enough I’ll be able to expel it onto the floor. “That’s what you have to tell me?”
“Yeah, why what did you think I was going to say?”
“Not that,” I say almost too excitedly.
“Oh shit, Jenna, you thought I was going to tell you I fucked up, right? Seriously? After the vows we said to each other?”
“Jimmy,” I try to interrupt.
“We took those vows and I meant every fucking word of them.”
“Jimmy?”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, laughing. “Jimmy, I’m sorry. I love you and I just thought you were going to tell me that you crowd surfed, but only that the crowd didn’t catch you.”