I move around my apartment as if on autopilot. I’m going to put on a brave face for everyone. I’ll be their rock, as they have been for me.
I pick up the picture of all of us that we took last year. Noah and the twins were so small. I can’t even think about what it’ll be like for Katelyn now.
“Here,” Harrison says, holding a cup of coffee. I know it’s not good for the baby, but I refuse to sleep. I need to know my husband is okay before I close my eyes. I take the paper cup from him and sit up. I wipe at my cheek, trying to rub away the make-up running down my face. I look around briefly, and see a few more people in this room waiting. Are they all here for the same reason, or something different? It makes me wonder who is here because of a car accident or another shooting. They happen more in the city than in a place like Beaumont. But I can guarantee you, 4225 West never thought they’d be part of a shooting during one of their shows.
“I called the girls, they’re on their way. Mr. Powell is going to stay with the kids. I also asked Gary to get a charter plane so they can get here faster.”
Liam nods. I know he wants to hold Josie and I can’t imagine what’s going through Katelyn’s mind. She’s been in this position before and as much as I love her, I want a different outcome. At the end of the day I want to go home with my husband by my side. I want just a little bit of happiness, especially for Little One. She needs to know her dad.
I sip my coffee gingerly. It’s something to settle my stomach, but I know I’ll need food even if I’m not hungry. Crackers – those will have to do – until I know Jimmy’s going to be okay. I can’t… I won’t leave his side until I know.
We sit in silence. The television is showing the nightly news. Liam curses when the newscaster talks about the shooting at the concert. I’m sure this is a public relations nightmare for Gary. He’ll probably tell Jimmy to ditch the extra baggage and take my baby away from me. Jimmy wouldn’t do that though, right?
“Mrs. Davis?”
I look up when my name’s called. I stand on shaky legs, only to be flanked by Liam and Harrison. “That’s me,” I say.
“Go ahead and have a seat,” the doctor says as he sits down across from us. We sit back down. I can’t look at the doctor. Instead I focus on the ring on my finger and the way Jimmy looked when he put it there.
“Your husband is in critical condition. The bullet entered from the right, passed through both lungs and exited on the left. He sustained considerable damage to his lungs. We’ve operated and right now he’s on a respir
ator. For the next twenty-four hours everything is touch and go. We have to watch for blood clots forming and detaching. He’ll have a nurse with him the whole time until the threat is gone.
“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Davis, I wish I could provide better news, but this is all I have.”
“When can I see him?”
“He can have one visitor at a time. You can go in when you’re ready.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
He takes his leave. Once he’s out of the waiting room, I collapse into Liam’s arms and break down. My husband isn’t going to make it and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. Harrison wraps his arms around me as well. His tears wet my back, while Liam’s meet mine. Both these strong men hold me as we cry for the one we love.
I stand on shaky legs, with Liam on one side and Harrison on the other. I’m taking liberties and going in first. Maybe I haven’t earned it. I haven’t known him long enough, but we share something that he can’t share with Liam and Harrison.
They walk me toward his room. How they know where it is, I don’t know. Did the doctor tell me and I not listen? We bypass the nurses’ station. I can’t bear to look at them. I don’t want to see the pity on their faces. I don’t want them to look at me as if I’m about to lose my husband. I don’t want to see their eyes wander to my mid-section and have them shake their heads because I’ll be a single mom soon.
That’s what I wanted, right? To be a single mom? Is this karma coming back to bite me in the ass because I was going to keep this baby a secret from Jimmy? Is he going to pay the price because I’m a selfish bitch and brought all this evil onto him? I should be the one lying in that bed. I should be the one who is in critical condition, fighting for my life. Jimmy doesn’t deserve this.
Harrison pushes the door open slowly. My senses become alive as I stare at the floor, my eyes moving slowly until I can see the wall in front of me. The room smells like antiseptic and Lysol. The walls are white. Jimmy hates white. He needs color. He wants vibrant displays of life. I close my eyes when I finally hear the beeping that’s telling me his heart is still beating. It means that his blood is still pumping through his body, keeping him alive. But it’s the whoosh of the machine helping him breathe that makes my knees buckle. He can’t breathe.
“Oh God, he can’t breathe.” Liam and Harrison grab my arms to steady me. I don’t like hospitals and the bad things that go along with them. The whish and hum of machines designed to mimic human functions. The constant beep, beep, beeping of vital signs being measured.
“Come on, Jenna, be strong. Think about the baby. Jimmy needs you to be strong for the baby right now.” Liam’s voice is too calm. I look at him briefly and know he’s holding everything in.
We step further into the room. I see his nurse first before I see him. I take a step back when I finally lay my eyes on him. His Mohawk is flattened, his eyes closed. There’s a tube coming out of his mouth, and wires everywhere. My hand covers my mouth as I cry out, which gets the nurses attention. She looks up from her computer screen with a scowl on her face.
“Only one visitor at a time.”
“We know,” Liam says. “This is his wife and as you can see, she’s pregnant and unsteady on her feet.”
“Shh,” she says, pointing to the curtain behind us. “Someone is sleeping in there.”
The three of us turn our heads and look. I look at Harrison, who shakes his head then to Liam who looks pissed off as hell.
“Why isn’t he in a private room with security?” Liam asks.
“He’s just a patient. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Only one visitor at a time.”