Finding My Way (Beaumont 4)

“What’s with her?”

I shrug. I don’t pretend to understand her when she’s like this. She knows I’m protective and jealous and I hate it when guys gawk at her. Only I should be able to gawk at her openly. “She doesn’t like it when I get jealous.”

“Your girlfriend is hot. I’d tap that if I didn’t have Katelyn.”

I punch Mason in the shoulder and keep moving into the school. When I turn the corner, Josie is bent over at the waist with her ass in the air for the whole school to see. I step up behind her and grab her hips, pulling them to me. I do this a few times until she yells at me.

“You’re going to get us into trouble, Liam,” Josie scolds me playfully as she stands and turns in my arms.

“It’s the first day of school and the whole town knows we have sex, Josie. We got caught at the movie theater, remember?”

Josie glares at me. “Only because you hit the parking brake and we started rolling.”

I laugh, remembering the situation all too well. It’s funny now, but wasn’t so funny when we were scrambling to get our clothes back on. The thing about car sex is that it’s easy for the guy, just whip it out, but unless your girl is wearing a skirt, which mine wasn’t, it’s a bit harder for the girl to get her clothes back on.

“Josie, we’re teenagers, teenagers have sex.”

“Well we don’t need to broadcast it.”

I step until her back is pressed against her locker. “I think we need a trip out to the dugouts. We haven’t been out there in a long time.”

“Lunch?” she asks, knowing exactly what happens out there.

I lean in and kiss her quickly. “I’ll be the one with no pants on.” I leave her there and make my way down the hall to class. First day is starting off quite nicely, I’d say.

Chapter 3

I roll over and look at the illuminated numbers of my clock staring back at me. I’ve tried to sleep, but to no avail. My mind is racing and is full of ‘what ifs’. I’ve never been this nervous on game day, but the pressure is on. The naysayers doubt me. The papers, the ones who support our rivals, think I’m done for. They say there’s nothing left and I’m already past my teenage prime. We’ve won three straight games, all on the road and we’re the league target. Everyone is gunning to take us down and it starts tonight at seven p.m. under the lights.

Josie, Katelyn and the rest of the girls will be there to meet us as we come out of the tunnel. Their pom-poms will be shaking. Their mouths will be cheering as we rush by. I’ll come out last. I always have. I need that one moment of peace before I step out onto the field and see the bright lights shining down on me. I need that solitude that I feel when I look at the thousands of fans who are gathered on a Friday night to watch us battle it out with our opponent.

What I don’t look for are the scouts. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to know that they’re sitting in the stands with their notepads writing furiously about everything that I do wrong because according to my dad, I can’t do anything right. My passes aren’t hard enough. I run too slowly. I don’t zig and zag like I should when heading to the end zone. I don’t score enough. What he doesn’t understand is that each time he says something it makes me want to quit and I hate having that feeling. I love football. It’s my life. I know I’ll do great, but each time he opens his mouth I want to yell at him. I want to tell him to go to hell and that I quit. But I won’t. I have dreams. Josie and I have dreams. I can’t let her down.

It’s three in the morning on game day. I should be sleeping, but it avoids me even though I need it. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of my bed, my bare feet touching the cold hardwood floor. I don’t know how to shut off the voices inside my head, but staying here isn’t the answer. I put on the t-shirt I threw on my chair last night and my sweatpants and slip on my Nikes.

The window in my bedroom moves up easily and the early morning air causes my skin to pebble. This isn’t the first time I’ve snuck out and won’t be the last, but after the first time I was afraid the noise would alert my father, so I oiled it. I don’t know what he’ll do if he catches me and honestly, I’m not willing to find out. But I need to see her. I need to feel her and hold her against me. She’ll help calm my nerves and ease the anxiousness that’s building.

I shimmy down the rose trellis and take off in a dead sprint toward her house. The run is what I need. I’ll be nice and tired when I crawl in through her window. Sleep won’t elude me once I have Josie pressed tightly against my chest.

I don’t knock or even worry about waking her parents when I open her window. She leaves it unlocked for me each night. The first time we were caught I thought her dad was going to shoot me. He should’ve. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind, but he knows how my father is. I know Josie tells him about the way he talks down to her. I’d like to think Mr. Preston feels sorry for me. Instead of calling my parents he sat us down and talked about responsibility and college, and how he has hopes for Josie and doesn’t want to see her give up on her dreams because we were being stupid. I sat on the couch holding her hand and listening to her father tell me that I’m a good kid, instead of beating the shit out of me for sneaking into his daughter’s bedroom.

My shirt and shoes come off before I slide into her bed. She’s facing the window, almost as if she’s waiting for me. On her nightstand is my senior picture. I paid for extras so she could have one. It pissed me off that my mother would be so selfish and wouldn’t order enough so I could hand them out. Of course, she knew they were going to go to Josie, but what should that matter? I know I should be used to it, but shit, Josie’s my girl and she’s not going anywhere.

“Hey, Josie,” I murmur as I pull her comforter over me. I touch her hip lightly before moving my arm over her waist, pulling her to my chest. I bury my nose into her hair and close my eyes, inhaling her scent. I would stay like this forever if it could make my head stop spinning.

“What’s wrong, Liam?”

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

Her body sighs against mine. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, as I try to release my grip on her waist, but she holds my arm there.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Liam. If something’s wrong, you can tell me. I’m always here for you. Are you nervous about the game?”

I nod and try not to smile, but can feel my lips turning up. I kiss her below her ear and sigh. “How do you know me so well, Josie? Not even my parents know me like you do.”

Her fingers trail up and down my arm. I should be sorry that I woke her, but I’m not. Now that I’m lying next to her, I need her.