Finding My Way (Beaumont 4)

I smirk and fool around with my lighter. “Knock it off. It’s creepy,” Harrison adds. My lips go tight as I try not to laugh, but yeah I agree with him. “So about the demo, tomorrow?”

I nod. “Yeah that works.”

“Great, now go network. Go meet people, Liam, that’s why they’re here.”

I look around and notice the party has almost doubled in size, at least the people who are hanging out in the backyard has. I get up, take a deep breath and fix my tie. Here goes nothing.

Chapter 34

I finish my four-song set and vacate the stage with Harrison quickly on my heels. It’s been months since I started performing at Metro and I still haven’t even come close to the coveted time-slot that I want. To say it’s taking a toll would be an understatement. I don’t know what else to do. I’m frustrated, tired and wondering if I’m ever going to get a look. If not, someone needs to tell me because my year is almost up and I’m either going back to Beaumont as a musician or a statistic. I prefer the former, but at this point I don’t think it’s going to happen.

Tonight, I don’t feel like hanging out. I think Harrison knows this. He’s quiet and sitting in his corner messing around with his drumsticks. He’s more than likely feeling the same dejection I am. Since I’ve started playing here I’ve seen six artists get signed, including Layla. They all played the prized performance time and they all left Harrison behind. It has to get to him. Hell, I feel angry for him. I’m pissed for me. I know I’m drawing a crowd, but I’m not rewarded and I’m beginning to think it’s time I start playing in other bars. I’m stupid to put all my eggs in one basket.

I zip up the canvas case that protects my guitar and sling it over my shoulder. Harrison looks dejected and I don’t know if it’s because I’m bailing or if he’s genuinely hurt that he can’t get a big time gig. He deserves it more than the people he’s playing for.

“I’m going to head home,” I tell him, stating the obvious. I have a lot of thinking to do and need to do it in the quiet of my bedroom. Since Christmas, I’ve sent out about one hundred demo tapes and have yet to receive a call. I knew it was a long shot, but thought with all the networking I’ve done at the parties my grandma had been having for me, I’d at least get a bite. This is probably a sign, a large neon blinking sign telling me that I’m grasping at straws.

“It’s gonna happen, man. It just takes time.” Harrison speaks not to me, but to the wall. He doesn’t look at me, leading me to believe it’s just words to keep me coming back.

“I should probably start playing in other bars. I have a feeling that Trixie either doesn’t like me or doesn’t think I can handle the after dinner crowd. I’ve watched acts move past me and get signed just like that. I gave myself a year to do this and that year is almost up.”

“What happens after a year?”

I shrug even though he can’t see me. “I go home.”

“Which is where?”

I sigh heavily and realize I can probably tell him anything at this point. He’s the only friend I have here so what’s it going to hurt if he knows?

“Home is nowhere and everywhere I guess. I’m running from my previous life where I’m the town’s prized possession and it didn’t matter what I did, I could do no wrong.

“Anyway, I ditched, let people down and now I’m here. I told myself I’d do this for a year and then go home. I either go back a loser or I head home for a visit because I’m so busy I can’t stay for too long.”

Harrison rotates on his stool with his hands resting in his lap. “You shouldn’t put a time limit on success.”

I nod, agreeing with him, but this is different. “I know, but I have to make amends for my actions. I figured one year is enough time for people to take me seriously when I tell them that I needed a different life from the one they had planned for me. Thing is, if I go back a failure, my dad will never let me live it down.”

“I get that. I feel like I’m always letting my mom down. Yvie…” he shakes his head. “She’s going places with her dancing, but here I am playing drums in a house band. Like I said, I just want to play and it pays the bills, but I do wonder what’s out there.”

“We’re not so different, you and I.”

“No we’re not,” he agrees.

I dip my head in acknowledgment and head for the door. Something about this seems final, like I won’t see him after tonight. I hope that’s not the case, but when Trixie calls tomorrow to give me my time-slot I’m going to turn her down. I can’t live as her puppet any longer.

“See ya around,” I

whisper when I get to the end of the dark hallway. I’m not good with goodbyes. This is how it has to be. When I step outside, under the cloud cover, I look back at the door. I feel a pang of regret, but I have to push it down. I need to expand, see what else is out there.

“Are you Liam Page?” My head turns sharply at the sound of my name. Walking toward me is a businesswoman. Her skirt stops above her knees and stockings cover her legs. Her heels are dangerous spikes that she can likely use as weapons if someone was to attack her. The closer she gets, the more features I can see. Her lips are painted red, her hair is long and very blond. She stops in front of me, sizing me up with her green eyes. She stands a few inches shorter than I do. I shift my weight uncomfortably. I don’t think I’m a fan of being gawked at. “Are you Page?” she asks again.

“Ye…” I clear my throat and swallow hard. I don’t know who this woman is, but she scares the shit out of me. “Yes,” I say, my voice squeaking like a girl.

“Sam Moreno, Moreno Entertainment.” We shake hands and I pull away before she can be disgusted with my sweaty palm.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I reply stupidly.

“I’m not a fan of back alley business, but since you left stage so abruptly here I am. My father sent me to listen to you play. He said he met you at a party and you later sent him a demo. We don’t care about demos. We like to hear… to feel… the artist. Anyone can fake it on a tape.” She looks around and I can tell this is not her normal job.