American Honey

He rolls his eyes, annoyance flashes in them as he walks away. I watch his back as he walks away, my eyes drifting lower.

He’s got the best ass. I’m jealous of every bull or girl he’s ever ridden. So jealous.

“Jesus!” Callan throws the bag of feed down on the floor. “What do you want from me, Alanna? Am I just another way to piss off your daddy?”

“No.”

“Then what it is? You fuck this entire town and suddenly want me?”

He’s trying to hurt me. He wants me to leave him alone but it doesn’t hurt me. Well maybe a little but he doesn’t know the truth and I know he wants to. He does. I see it in his eyes that he wants to know why I am the way I am.

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Does your daddy know Kasey?” he asks, there’s a little more to his words than he’s leading onto, as if he knows the answer to that. “Does he know about me?”

I shake my head because my dad doesn’t know shit. And he never will.

“Does he know you’re lying to him?”

I won’t give him an answer and it’s pissing him off.

“That’s what I thought.” He says, laughing.

No one was going to tell me what to do. Especially my dad. If he pushes, I push and now there’s a wall no one can climb. I didn’t like the fact that Callan seems to think he knows me, but yet won’t give me a chance.

His eyes are bloodshot, wearing and waiting for me to say something. I saw right through him. He rolls into this town, gets what he wants, maybe fights for my honor but there’s still a part of Callan that will always be that rebel kid. He nods, as if to let me know my assumptions are right. He’s just as fucked and he knows it.

“What am I to you then?” I challenge. “If you say you don’t want anything to do with me, why are you roughing up Kasey and trying to make me walk the straight and narrow? Why go to that much trouble since you’re a short-timer here?”

“Maybe you’re someone I can’t fucking resist but I have no right to want.” He says, walking away.

But he can and he is. I hate what he’s doing to me, making me crave his harsh words and southern drawl, specs of blue diamonds that shine so bright under a Texas night. He’s demanding my attention in ways he doesn’t even know.

I follow him, I don’t give up and I’m not about to now. He walks into the barn, kicking around dirt and hay.

“What is it about you?” he throws a saddle to his left out of his way and reaches for the feed at his feet. “You’re looking for trouble, aren’t you?”

I blink leaning against the stable crossing my boots. “Depends on how you look at it, eight seconds. Or I’m just lookin’ for a good time.”

Callan rolls his eyes muttering something I can’t hear when I call him eight seconds, and most likely don’t wanna know what he’s saying.

I feel like there’s never enough. I can give myself to everyone, pieces of myself I shouldn’t give to anyone, but I do in hopes that maybe I get something back in return, a piece of happiness. But then they want just a little more of me. Sometimes I don’t have any more to give.

I pick up my cell phone once I’m in my room and call who I say I won’t.

“Kasey, I need your help.”

“So.” Kasey’s never done anything for anyone unle

ss it was Ashley or Jackson, and even then, it was never from the heart.

“After everything you’ve done to me these last four years, you at least owe me that much. Get your ass over here now.”

Chapter Eight

8 Seconds

“How’s it feel?” Mom sits down on my bed and hands me an envelope filled with money.

“What?” Mom smiles brushing her hand over my sun kissed face.