American Honey

“I did,” my answer is barely a whisper. I don’t know if she realizes it, but there’s so much meaning behind her choice of words and the fact that she said “everything”. I felt lost when she left. I know it wasn’t her fault, but I couldn’t help but be mad at her. She left me. She was my best friend and she moved away. Losing my personal belongings was just the icing on the cake during an already depressing year.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t set my house on fire.”

She shakes her head and steps closer, too close. “No, I didn’t, but I can still feel bad that you lost everything.”

I should step back and put some distance between us, but I can’t. I don’t want to. “I lost my most important possession earlier than that. It wasn’t harmed in the fire.”

Her eyes meet mine and I can see the realization in her blue orbs. “Me,” she whispers. I nod, unable to deny her this answer. She steps forward, the fabric of her dress brushing against my towel. Her fingers dance along my skin, causing goosebumps that I haven’t felt in a very long time to pebble my skin. The trail she leaves ignites something in me. Many images flash before my eyes, all of them ending up with me sans my towel and between her legs.

r /> “Savannah,” I murmur, huskily. She responds by allowing her fingers to trace my jaw.

“I didn’t want to leave,” she admits quietly.

I nod, unable to hold back. I slip my arm around her waist and pull her closer. Her chest, heaving as her breathing picks up, brushes against mine. She’s a smart girl. She knows what’s coming next. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, please step back. I won’t be mad.”

Savannah bites her lower lip, tilting her head to the side. Her hand moves to my head and her fingers play with what little hair I have left. I don’t hesitate as I move forward and press my lips to hers. Immediate warmth mixed with chills takes over my body, and I try to pull her closer while keeping my hand securely fastened to my towel. One false move and she’s going to see how much this kiss really means to me.

Chapter 10 – Savannah

My body trembles. My heart thumps wildly against my chest. Tyler’s arm holds me securely to him while my fingers play with the short hairs on his head. I wish his hair were longer so I could run my fingers through it and feel the silky strands as they caress my fingers. I understand why he keeps it short, but for once I want this fantasy to play out – the one playing out in my head where he drops the towel and carries me off to his bedroom while I thread my fingers through his locks, pulling as he climaxes. Not that the scenes running through my mind, as I anticipate his next move aren’t making me hypersensitive to his actions.

His eyes dart between my mouth and my eyes, the dark orbs of his pupils hijacking the vibrant green I’ve become accustomed to as they widen. I don’t know what they’re conveying, but I hope he’s seeing that I want him to kiss me, that I need him to kiss me. I know I don’t deserve his attention, let alone his affection, but I want it. I’ve wanted it since he walked into the kitchen and told me who he was. The feelings I had when I left, the ones my mother told me were wrong and that I was too young for, are rushing back with each and every moment. As much as I want to deny they exist, I can’t. As much as I want to keep my wall up and pretend like he doesn’t matter, he does. He was my best friend and now he’s standing in front of me, hopefully about to kiss me.

I can feel the rise and fall of his chest. Our breathing matches, keeping us connected. My eyes flutter as his lips touch mine. They’re soft, softer than I thought they would be. They still against mine, as if he’s cautious, waiting for me to pull away and start running for the hills. I didn’t know it until he touched me like this, but I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life. I want more. No, I need more. I have to know if he’s feeling the same crazy mixed up nervousness that I am when he’s around. I need to know if his palms sweat when I stand near him, because mine do. Does his heart pound so hard that he fears if he doesn’t walk away people will hear? If I could tell him… if I could find the words or find a way to show him that I want him, maybe everything would be okay.

The kiss is too quick and he pulls away. At best he gave me a peck. That’s all I’m worth to him. It’s all I deserve. I let my hands fall in defeat. He catches one, placing it over his left pec. I swallow hard as my fingers caress his skin. I feel his skin pebble under my touch and knowing that I’m doing that to him turns me on. I don’t know why he’s hesitating because right now I think he knows what I want.

My eyes meet his. They’re gleaming. He turns his head slightly before placing his hand on the back of my neck. He wets his lips and moves toward me painstakingly slow. I try to move closer, but I’m sealed to the ground. He smiles, sensing my need. I’ve never felt an urge quite like this. If he doesn’t kiss me soon, I’m going to kiss him whether he likes it or not.

The anticipation is too much to bear, so I don’t wait. I take control. I grab the back of his head and pull him closer to me, closing the inches enough for him to know what I want. I briefly catch a smile before my lips take his. If this is what he wanted and I caved, I lose. Right now I don’t care because I feel his tongue move against mine masterfully. He steps back, righting himself along the wall, spreading his legs just enough for me to step between them. I feel his towel brush against my leg and then skin, lots of skin.

My hand roams over his chest feeling the definition of his muscles. My fingers work to memorize each ridge and valley. I reluctantly remove my hand from his hair and to his back. He shifts away from the wall, allowing me easier access to touch him. He presses himself against me, letting me feel what I’m doing to him. I whimper as he pulls me closer with both of his hands on the side of my head. He’s no longer holding the towel and I don’t even care. Having him kiss me like he’s wanted this is all that’s important to me and all of a sudden I’m lost in everything Tyler.

Tyler pulls away, breathing heavily. Our breathing is in sync as if we’re one. He peppers me with kisses along my eyes, cheeks and finally the corners of my mouth before placing his lips on mine again, albeit briefly before he pulls away.

“Sweet baby Jesus, Savannah that was…”

“Perfect,” I interject. It was for me and I can only hope that I’ve met his expectations. My hands drop from his body, both screaming with desire to touch him again. I clench my fists tightly, afraid that I might be overstepping or feeling something he’s not.

“Perfect would be an understatement. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do that.” My body sighs happily that he feels the same way and I try not to smile. He rests his head against the wall and gazes at me as fingers trail down my arm before linking with mine. If I move my eyes, or step away slightly I know I’ll be seeing all of Tyler. I’m not sure how much control I’d be able to maintain so I keep my eyes focused on his and try to read his expression.

“Come here,” he murmurs, placing his hand on my cheek. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve had dreams about kissin’ you and those dreams hold nothin’ on reality. I know you have a lot going on and if this isn’t right for you, don’t be afraid to tell me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I pull my bottom lip into between my teeth and nod. “I had this vision of what it’d be like when I got off the bus, ya know? I thought I’d come down the stairs and you’d be waiting. I’d jump into your arms and everything would be the way it was when I left.”

“Except I screwed that up because you look nothin’ like the Savannah that left me five years ago.”

“Is that bad?” I ask with a bit of fear in my voice. The last thing I want is for him to not like me because I grew up.

He shakes his head. “Hell no, it doesn’t matter what you look like as long as you don’t mind being in my arms. We need to get to know each other and, believe me when I say this, I plan to get to know you all over again. You’ve been gone for a long time and we really haven’t been gettin' along, but that can all change.” He swallows as his thumb moves back and forth on my cheek, gently caressing it. “You’re so beautiful and as much as I want to continue standing here, I’m naked and unless you plan to take care of my issue, I’d like for you to turn around so I can grab my towel. As soon as I’m dressed I can take you on that shoppin’ trip I’ve promised.”

I hesitate because honestly there’s nothing stopping me. He raises his eyebrow, calling me out on my stalling tactic. I give him the eye roll that I know pisses him off as I turn around. I hear him shuffle behind me and when his arm comes around my waist, I don’t think twice. I lean against him and am rewarded with small kisses on my neck.

“You have no idea, Savannah,” he says against my skin before walking away. He’s right I don’t, but I really want to find out.

I don’t have time to register that he’s gone before he’s standing in front of me again, this time in a dark t-shirt with his sleeves rolled up over his biceps. His shirt is tucked into dark blue jeans and of course, he’s wearing his cowboy boots. For the first time since I’ve been here, my idea on what my ideal man would dress like has changed. He’s not some city guy with a rich family. The image now is of a man who’s wholesome and hardworking, everything that my friends back home would scoff at. Thing is, I like what I’m seeing, even though I’m leaving at the end of the summer.