My momma’s crushed, bloody body spanned over my lap. Blood, glass and smoke everywhere invading all my senses, and of all things, I’m too scared to panic. My knee silently pulses, and I can’t even start to explain why. Finally, I gather enough senses to scream for my daddy, the one person who always saves me. Glancing in the driver’s seat again, I search for him one more time. Instead, my bloody, torn leg is staring back at me. The red high heel is the absolute epitome of the devil staring back at me. My eyes instantly flash down, and the silent pulse comes alive at the realization that my leg is missing.
I try desperately to talk to my momma, but she doesn’t respond, so panic sets in, and I start to shake her. Rolling momma over to face me, her bloody, broken, beaten face stares back at me. Nothing resembles her pretty face not the tiniest hint. Her throat is slashed and gaping open. I can feel the hot air escaping the bloody wound. Gurgling and gasping sounds fill the cab of the car. She’s fighting, fighting for air. Bloody air bubbles escape her. With my shaking hands, I cover her throat trying to create a seal to save her precious oxygen supply. I can hear gasping air, still a sure sign she is still fighting but losing the battle. One more silent gasp escapes her and then nothing. She loses the battle in my arms. I lose it…all control. Everything goes black.
Chapter 2
Red
3 Days Later
I open my eyes to see Tommie curled up next to me in bed. This isn’t my bedroom or hers. The sterile environment is cold and harsh. I lift my head to get a better view and still don’t understand where I am. My whole body is numb, and it takes all my concentration just to move my arm. I spot a vase of red roses in the corner. Red. I remember red. The blood. My high heel. My momma’s throat. Violent screams escape from my body and I fight desperately to get out of bed. Tommie tries to grab me, but it’s too late. As I fly to the floor, my leg fails me. I can hear Will, Tommie’s husband, yelling for a nurse and then immediately feel Tommie cradling me in her arms on the floor.
“Tess. Tess. Tess.” The only thing she can say to me is my name. I know something is bad, very, very bad.
“Momma?” I whisper into Tommie’s chest already knowing full well Momma is dead.
She died in my arms. Tommie just shakes her head and starts to cry.
“Daddy?” I whisper, in a stronger voice hoping and praying.
Tommie just cries louder. My daddy is dead too. I can’t cry.
The nurse and Will lift me back up in the bed. Then the memory of my bloody knee hits me. I look down to see my right leg is gone. Everything below the kneecap has disappeared. I have one foot and five toes painted bright red. Red. I fucking hate red. My eyes flash back to the red roses. I don’t see Rhett, but I see his writing on an envelope propped up on the vase holding the fucking red roses.
Tommie is now bawling uncontrollably. My body is shaking with anger at all the red around me. “Rhett. Where is he?” I finally ask.
Tommie wails even louder. Will grabs the envelope and hands it to me.
“I asked a question. Where is he? Why isn’t he here with me?”
“Tess, he left you,” Will replies.
Tearing open the envelope, I sink so low, I lose the rest of my shattered self and any hope for the future.
Dearest Tessa,
Just know I love you with all my heart. I stayed here with you the first night and felt my world crumble. The doctors told us you lost your leg and would need months to recover. I can’t stay here with you while you do so. I need to go to Idaho to training camp. You know football is my world. My parents and I have decided that it would be best for me to continue forward as planned. I can’t deal with any of the emotions. It comes down to the game for me. Like I said, never forget how much I love you. This is the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make. Your sister isn’t happy with me, but I have to do what is best for me. We had the best years together in high school, and it just needs to stay that way. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be on me.
Love,
Rhett
Tears finally make their way to my eyes. I pick up a large book that is lying on the table next to my bed and sling it at the red roses. They fall to the ground and the glass shatters everywhere. The breaking glass is a welcoming noise to my ears. Grabbing the nearest vase of flowers, I hurl them against the wall, too. The need to break everything in front of me is overwhelming. My arms are out of control launching shit everywhere. Will finally wraps me up to restrain me while a nurse puts something in my IV. Everything goes dark again.
A Week Later
I’m at my parents’ funeral in a wheelchair, heavily sedated from physical and mental pain. I told Tommie that Rhett’s parents weren’t welcome anywhere near me. My mind numb and my shell of a body sit in front of my parents’ dead bodies. Their dead, lifeless bodies. They had to beg for one car ride with their selfish, bitch of a daughter. One fucking car ride.
Chapter 3
Cinnamon Jolly Ranchers
4 Years Later
I hate the fucking dentist. But has that ever stopped me from chomping on hard candy? No! I knew this day was coming since Jolly Ranchers have been my drug of choice for years now. Damn ‘effin teeth and damn ‘effin dentists.
I’m spending the summer with Tommie and Will while I try to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I recently earned my nursing degree from a college near my hometown, but in all honesty, I don’t know if I want to be a nurse. There are moments where I see myself saving Momma, and those precious moments drove me to be an ER nurse. If I’m telling the whole truth, I only went to college to appease my sister. She has tried to make everything normal in my life since graduation. Fact is, I hate college and the life I’m supposed to live. The only good thing that came from college was my best friend, Scarlett. She’s spending the summer with us.
I’m working with Tommie at her small animal vet clinic, and Scarlett is interning for the local CPA. She’s thrilled because I guess her boss is one hot piece of ass. I give her two more days before she’s boning him. Scarlett’s a slut and makes no apologies for it. It doesn’t matter if they are married, old, ugly, hot as hell or scrawny, if she’s feeling it, she does them. I live vicariously through her wild sex stories.