American Honey

“I know, this has been the best summer ever. I’m so glad you asked me to come down.”

“When are you heading home?”

I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath This decision isn’t an easy one and if I thought my heart was hurting before, it’s damn near broken right now. “Today. I’m about to pack my stuff and leave before he can realize I’m gone.”

I turn to walk back towards the room that I’ve stayed in all summer. I grab my suitcase from the closet and begin to pack everything I brought back inside. I see the black lace bra and can’t help but feel the swarm of butterflies that invade. I push them back as I continue packing. Once I’m sure I have everything, I double check and look up to see Sienna standing in the doorway.

“I wish you weren’t going. We should still have a few weeks left.”

“I know. This is going to help keep things from being awkward. I’m sure he’ll move on with his life soon anyway, I mean he is God.” I say with a forced smile. Truth is, I hope he never forgets about me and I hope he has hell moving on because I know I will.

Beau Granger is forever etched into my heart, body and soul.

I grab my suitcase by the handle and drag it towards the door. Sienna follows and opens the front door for me. The morning heat hits my face and I have to squint to see. The sun is so damn bright. I pop the trunk and set the suitcase where it sat right before I ever got here. I turn to face Sienna and she has silent tears running down her face.

“I’m so glad you came to see me Shay. Next time, I’m coming to see you. We’re going to keep this up, do you hear me?”

I pull her in for a hug, holding her tightly. “Yeah, we are keeping this up. I’m not going that long without seeing you ever again. Tell him I’m sorry, will you?” I ask her.

“You know I will. I love you Shay.”

“I love you too, Sienna. Thank you for everything this summer.”

“Let me know when you get home?”

“You know it. I have a long drive, so I better get on the road now.” I tell her wishing it wasn’t true.

We finally break the hug and I know if I don’t get into the car now, I won’t be leaving today. As I sit inside my car, I wave to Sienna and blow her a kiss. I’m going to miss the hell out of her, I know it already.

I back out of the driveway and begin the long drive home. This time, I’m consumed with thoughts of Beau and the memories we made over this short period of time. Three hours up the road, there are no messages from Beau. I think he’s finally understanding this is for the best. I grab my phone and call Dad. I haven’t heard from him in a while and now I can’t wait to see him. He’s shocked when I tell him that I’m on my way home. He doesn’t ask questions and I don’t say anything. I just tell him I’ll see him when I get home. Home, that is the only place I want to be now.

Chapter 14

A year has passed since that summer. Sienna told me Beau was pissed when he found out that I left without saying anything to him. I don’t blame him. I would have been pissed too. He was so pissed, I haven’t heard a single thing from him. It hurts like hell to not hear from him, but I expected this. I knew when I shut him down, this would happen. It’s never hurt like this, but then I’ve never loved anyone like I love Beau Granger. He consumes my thoughts, every minute of every day. I don’t know that I’ll ever get him out of my mind, but dammit, I don’t regret a single moment I spent down in Louisiana.

I have everything I need for this upcoming semester ready to go. I’ve thrown myself into keeping busy by buying stuff for school or the house and also cleaning. Dad gives me funny looks most of the time, but still never asks any questions. I know I can go to him with anything and everything, but since this happened last year in Louisiana, I don’t deem it something to worry him with.

My phone rings and I jump to see who it is. I set the pile of clothes in my hand on the bed and smile when I see Sienna’s name. “Hey Sienna,” I answer.

“Hey Shay, what’s going on?” she asks.

“Just cleaning and folding clothes. I swear I think I’m going to go into the maid business soon.” I laugh.

“You’re still cleaning like crazy?.”

“Yes, I’m still cleaning. I’m trying to get everything I need done before Wyatt comes to pick me up.”

“You’re still seeing him? Wow, I’m surprised.” She snorts. “I just wanted to call and check on you. I miss the hell out of you.”

“Yes, I’m still seeing him. He’s a nice guy, Sienna. I miss you too.”

We talk for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone. Dad should be home soon and I want to have all the clothes put up. The dishes were done hours ago and I’m running out of busy work. This isn’t good. Memories of Beau always pop up in my head when the busy work runs out. His eyes, lips, and oh god his touch. Those memories like to pop back up after a year and it drives me completely insane. Knowing I’ll never be affected by a single touch again just kills me. He was it for me and I let him go. I learned last summer that dirt roads were for more than just riding along, they were for falling in love. Beau Granger taught me all about love. That dirt road changed my life.

Wyatt Perry is a good guy though. I’ve been seeing him for four months and he makes me happy, or at least that’s what I’m attempting to convince myself. Truth is, I compare him to Beau when I shouldn’t.

I toss my phone back onto the bed and hear it ding. My heart begins racing when I see Beau’s name on my phone. I haven’t seen his name in a year and to see it now, it has my heart cutting flips and my breathing is erratic. It’s just a text message and I want to see what it says but I don’t wants to seem desperate to open it. Sitting on the bed, I stare at the phone closely and count to ten before picking it up.

His name on my phone sends chills throughout my body. I tap the message and feel a slow smile instantly spread across my face as I read.