Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

She sits up, her eyes gleaming. I know this look – she’s up to something. She pulls out her ear buds. “Guess what I won?” she asks. I’m never going to guess so I shrug. Dylan wins everything even though her parents give her anything she wants.

“Aren’t you going to guess?”

“No, you’re going to tell me anyway,” I reply. I scoot back on my bed, crossing my ankles. Dylan moves closer, matching the way I’m sitting. Her long, tan legs are pressed against mine and I don’t like it; it’s too hot to be touching anyone. I shift slightly, only for her to put her hand on my leg.

“I won tickets to the Hadley Carter concert and not just any tickets, but backstage passes and a meet and greet.”

“Cool, but who is Hadley Carter?” Dylan knows I’m not up-to-date on the music scene. I don’t have a fancy music player like she does or even a computer where I know she gets most of her music. Sure we listen to music in her car, but I try not to get attached to something I can’t have. It’s the devil’s music, or so my mom says. Unless the band is on public access television, it’s not allowed.

Dylan turns her body so she’s facing me. I can tell that she’s excited about these tickets she’s won. “Hadley is like the biggest music star out there right now and she’s coming to town. Well not here, but to Jackson and I’ve got us tickets!”

“Us?”

“Of course us! Who else would I want to go with?”

“I don’t know, D, Rachel, Sarah, or Jill. I’m sure they’d all want to go with you. I don’t. Hell, even the new guy that moved here last week. I saw him watching you the other day when you were at Stan’s. I think he drooled on his burger when you bent over.” Dylan hits me in the arm. I act like it hurt, but it didn’t. She’s too tiny to cause much damage. “Come on, I don’t know any of this singer’s music. I’ll be bored.”

Dylan sticks out her bottom lip and bats her eyes slowly. “Please, Ryan. It'll be a great night and I want to spend it with you. You’re my best friend and this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. You’re the one I want to share it with.”

When she gets like this I can’t say no. Even if I tried, she’d find a way to make me feel guilty and remind me of something she did for me or tell her I owe her a favor and that she’s collecting now. I’m in a no-win situation with her and I know it.

“When’s the show?” I ask while rolling my eyes. She knows it’s pretend and that I’d do anything for her.

Her face lights up and she starts clapping. I can’t help it. I smile too and look away from her so she doesn’t see it.

“The show’s tonight, but don’t worry. I stopped by your mom’s office and asked her if you could go and she’s okay with me driving us to Jackson.”

Dylan is like the daughter my mother always wanted and never had so I’m not surprised she said I could go. Had it been anyone else she would’ve made me ask my dad and that is usually an automatic no.

I look at my alarm clock and cringe. My dad will be home in twenty-minutes; my mom not for another hour. I don’t have any money for dinner if I go to the concert.

“I haven’t gotten paid yet, D. I don’t have any money.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I got it. You can pay me back later.” She says this too eagerly. I owe her a million dollars already.

“We should go before my dad gets home. Is what I’m wearing okay?”

Dylan jumps off my bed, heads to my closet and pulls out one of my Sunday church shirts. Fear creeps up my spine – if I ruin it, I’m in trouble. She hands it to me with a huge smile on her face. Sometimes I wish she knew exactly how things were in my house. No, I take that back, I wish I had the carefree attitude and the ability to do whatever I wanted that she has. I wish that my check went to me and not my parents. Most of all, I wish my life was different.

CHAPTER 2

Hadley

Alex braids my hair. She does this because she knows it pisses off Anal Anna and loves to watch her huff and puff while she’s trying to get out the kinks. I don’t understand why I can’t perform in a braid. It would be so much easier and would keep my hair out of my face. But what do I know? I’m just the talent surrounded by people paid to know what’s best for me.

Alex moves from my hair to my shoulders and massages them. My head falls forward as she works the muscles in my neck. Having my best friend on tour has so many perks, this being one of them. And I have someone to talk to when I'm lonely. Which is all the time. She ends up being my everything – my confidant, my shopping buddy and even my date to the movies when I want to see something. I lean on her for everything.

She taps me on the shoulder to let me know I’m done. I open my eyes and look at her. The bright lights surrounding my vanity mirror are making her dark skin pale. I hate that because her dark complexion and caramel-colored eyes are beautiful.

Alex and I switch spots and I do her make-up. This has become our ritual. Not that anyone is going to see us like this. She’ll remove the make-up before we leave the bus and head into the arena. This is the only time I can be a kid again, even though at twenty-two, those days are over. I just missed them by performing and sometimes I want them back. I miss the days where I didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to be “on”. When I could go to the mall and hang out, eating at the food court and not having to worry if paparazzi are lurking in the dressing room next to me. Those days have been gone for so long, I wish for one moment I can be normal again.

A knock on the bus door makes us both groan. Sometimes performing every other night and traveling in between is too much. I long for my soft bed and stuffed animals. Yes, I know, I’m too old for stuffed animals, but every so often I need them.

Alex goes to get the door. She sashays as she walks, flipping her hair over her shoulder every few steps, mimicking Anal Anna. It’s something we’ve practiced night after night either on the tour bus or in our hotel room.

“Oh look, if it isn’t the hair dresser.” Alex walks back toward me, rolling her eyes. When Anna spots my hair braided she sighs heavily causing Alex to laugh. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling.

They have a love/hate relationship. Actually, I think it is more hate/hate because I don’t remember them every really loving each other.